


Recipe for a crush

by Papy_1412



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Matchmaking, Minor Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth, Mutual "I Think You're Pining For Me And I Don't Know What To Do With That Information", Rating May Change, Slow Burn, the concept is honestly super silly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:42:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 41,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25720759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Papy_1412/pseuds/Papy_1412
Summary: “Love at first sight? I’m an expert, I can even give you the recipe! Take two regulars, let each think the other fancies them, leave it to simmer… It never fails."Or : Edelgard has a great plan, that might either fail miserably or change her best friend's life. Everything will be fine, she tells herself as she convinces Hubert Vestra that Ferdinand Aegir has a crush on him, and asks her girlfriend to do the same to Ferdinand. Really, what could go wrong...?
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 22
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend enabling Creator's Style to read the texting parts! It's just a tiny part of the fic tho (code written thanks to [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6434845/chapters/14729722) tutorial)
> 
> Beta read by [GaikotsuRamen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlushingTeddybear) <3 <3

A shadow covered Byleth and the pile of tests she was grading. She raised her head and found Edelgard staring at her, her lavender eyes shining and her lips thinned with a satisfied smile. She knew that look on her girlfriend, the love of her life, and probably future death of her. She just had an idea, a plan, and Byleth already knew she wouldn’t be able to get out of it easily.

“I found a way,” she said, filled with glee.

Byleth was a biology teacher. She had been a TA for a few years, but she now had her own office, her own classes, her own students. They had met when Edelgard was 23, in the middle of her degree, while Byleth fine-tuned her doctorate at barely 26. However, she didn’t have to feel guilty about dating a university student anymore. Their relationship was solid, had been going on for two years already, and was public knowledge. They had the approbation of the director of the university, since they weren’t even in the same department.

And yet, they had a problem.

Edelgard’s childhood had been complicated, to say the least. Her father, a rich man with ties to some not recommendable organizations, had one day found out that one of his underling was actually a spy. The man had immediately tried to run away which ended up with him using a 7 years old Edelgard as an hostage, throwing her in the trunk of a car when she started being a burden. The man had been arrested by the police but it had taken a few days for Edelgard to be found. Meanwhile, her father had been thrown in jail too. Her mother long since gone, the young girl had found herself completely alone and scarred for life. It had taken a few years for her to find the strength to start school again.

Byleth knew all about her story, the anxiety that her lover lived with. She knew how terrified she could be when she was left alone for too long in a closed room. She knew all about this week of February, when she would close herself to the world and wait for time to pass, startling every time someone appeared from a corner.

But Byleth also knew how strong she could be. Not only physically, though her boxing was a sight to see (and she obviously enjoyed the feelings of strong biceps under her hands). Edelgard had the strongest spirit Byleth had ever seen. She was bold, determined, merciless if she needed to. An imposing light that inspired awe and loyalty.

And that might have been part of their little problem, actually. Because that light had brought her a loyal friend. Her best friend. And also the most stubborn person Byleth had ever met.

Hubert Vestra had always been Edelgard’s friend. Probably since she’d been born. Hubert’s father had been part of Edelgard’s father’s fishy network, but being five years older than the young girl, he had approached their relationship not only as a friendship but also as a contract. He had pledged to protect her in any scenario.

Obviously, he had been forced to face the harsh reality. Being 12 and realizing he’d failed his only responsibility had been a shock. Hubert had then spent years trying to redeem himself. Almost twenty years later, he was still as devoted and he finally dared calling their bond family.

Byleth already knew the man before meeting Edelgard because they were coworkers. Hubert had decided to follow his father’s path and study law. However, while his father had been a prosecutor, secretly working for guilty convicts, helping them getting in or out of prison; Hubert was now a defense attorney, ruthless and not easily bendable, barking laughs in the face of anyone trying to buy his silence or thugs begging for his help. And like many people in this kind of career he had also turned to teaching, easily finding a teaching spot in Edelgard’s choice of university. This way, he could work and still keep an eye out for her.

Suffice to say, Byleth had had no choice when her and Edelgard had started dating. While she didn’t need to “meet the parents”, she had needed to “meet Hubert”. And then “being interviewed by Hubert”. And then “prove herself to Hubert”. It had taken a year for the man to finally accept her. And another one for him to maybe trust her.

And here they were. Two years into their relationship, a few month before Valentine’s Day. And Edelgard had taken a decision : this year, she would overcome her fears. They would plan a nice get-away, with just the two of them for a weekend near the sea, _alone_.

And the problem was that Hubert Vestra, Courtroom devil, most hated and admired teacher at Garreg Mach Uni, had his word to say in that vacation. And this word was “no”.

He wasn’t as cruel as rumors depicted him to be. Byleth knew he truly wished for Edelgard’s well being and appreciated their relationship because of all the happiness it brought to his protegee. However, there were certain things he didn’t negotiate. And one of them was Edelgard going anywhere during the month of February, the anniversary of her childhood kidnapping, when the post-traumatic stress overwhelmed her the most.

There was really no use debating with him. Edelgard hadn’t tried the year before, still quite anxious about the possibility of breaking down. They had spend the night at home, where Hubert knew they were staying and where he could come and check if anything went wrong. But Edelgard, as previously pointed, was stubborn. She now wanted her vacation. She wanted to prove herself that she was not scared anymore. And she seemed to have a plan.

Byleth blinked, taking in the beautiful sight of her girlfriend beaming, surely very proud of the plan she came up with. Coming to the realization she wouldn’t be able to mark her tests for at least half an hour, the teacher closed her pen, moved the paper pile away, and sighed :

“Well, tell me.”

A smile stretched Edelgard’s face. She went to sit on the chair right in front of the desk and brought her crossed hands on the table. She was acting like she was about to sell her something. Byleth started to dread her speech.

“I know you’re gonna find it absurd. So let me talk for a few minutes, please.”

She nodded, and Edelgard began :

“I don’t think any plan would just make Hubert give up. And I don’t really want that either. He’s always busy with work, but his social-life is pretty much non-existent. This is why I’d like for him to understand how important this get-away is for me. And that he’s allowed to live his own life, while letting me enjoy mine too.”

Byleth raised an eyebrow at that. It was tempting to raise the very noticeable flaw in this sentence : Hubert had never done that in twenty years, what could possibly change that mindset today? She still kept silent, as promised.

“But I think it could happen if he started a relationship with someone.”

Oh boy. Byleth closed her eyes immediately, repressing the immediate and obvious feeling in her gut, telling her that, yes – she wasn’t going to like that plan.

“I know what you’re thinking, and this is why you need to hear me out on this. I don’t want to force anything, I don’t think I could anyway. But I can make him consider a relationship.”

Byleth frowned, clearly skeptical about this assumption.

“Consider it. Hubert has no interest in anyone but he understands people. I know what he admires and what he despises in others. And if he came to think someone he respects and whose company he actually enjoys, is interested in him...”

She left it at that pause, now clearly allowing answers. It took Byleth a few seconds, just to try to organize her thoughts.

“...Yes, I guess. But who?” Byleth frowned. “It would have to be genuine, you know that. Hubert wouldn’t be fooled by an actor.”

“Yes. This is exactly my point : even if there is not interest to begin with, we can easily create some. If we have someone who Hubert respects, we just have to lie a little. Tell him that person likes him. And to make it more realistic, we do the same with the other person : we make them think Hubert is interested in them.”

“With the risk of repeating myself, I need to ask–” Byleth stopped in her speech, her eyes going wide. She now knew exactly what her girlfriend had in mind. “Ferdinand,” she sighed. “Oh my god, you want to convince Hubert that Ferdinand is interested in him. And vice-versa.”

Ferdinand was another one of Byleth’s coworkers. It was her TA, actually. One of the best students she ever had, the same age as Edelgard but obviously two promotions ahead, considering the circumstances. Edelgard knew him well too, he had been her rival the previous year when she was running for the position of head of the student council representative. He was a very bright young man, optimist, outgoing, it was almost hard to look away from him sometimes. Some people just _shined_ , and Ferdinand was definitely one of them.

That couldn’t be further from who Hubert Vestra was, as a person.

Edelgard tightened her lips, nodding once with determination.

“Yes, I was thinking about him.”

“And you really think that the tension created by those lies will be enough?”

“I know Hubert, and I’ve come to understand a lot about Ferdinand. They would both try to get at the bottom of it.”

Her eyes were now shining, and that’s how Byleth knew she had to start getting more direct. She really, _really_ was in no way convinced yet, and she needed her girlfriend to regain at least a little bit of objectivity.

“The problem,” she said slowly, joining her hands in front of her face. “Is that I know you had this idea when you watched Amélie Poulain with Petra last night. And I have to remind you that in the movie, it ended _very badly_.”

That made Edelgard blush a little. She still shook her head.

“It’s different! First of all, Hubert and Ferdinand are on good terms. They both like men. And also, in the movie, that guy was an extreme jerk and a stalker. It's not the same.”

“Edie, it’s a _movie_.”

“And you know it could work! Listen,” Edelgard quickly sat up, putting her hand flat on the desk and staring right into her girlfriend’s eyes. “It doesn’t have to be extreme. I know Hubert would listen to me if I went to him and told him that Ferdinand likes him. And Ferdinand would believe you, he’s your TA.”

“Exactly. He’s my TA. If it ends badly, it will be very uncomfortable.”

“Come on Byleth, we are not going to do that without any subtlety! In your case, you probably just have to tell him you think there’s something going on with Hubert, say that you only have suspicions, and he’ll fall right into it!”

“There is no way to know for sure this could work. They could both be extremely disinterested in the idea.”

“I know Hubert, I’m telling you. And Ferdinand is not the type to ignore such a possibility, if it is presented to him.”

Byleth covered her forehead with a hand, closing her eyes for a second. She could now imagine the scene, and sadly, Edelgard was right. Ferdinand really was the overworking type, always writing bigger essays than what had been asked, always coming after class to ask questions, and then being a tutor for the first years, and now a TA, all the while working on his doctorate. He not only had a splendid future in animal research, but he also worked actively in animal rights associations.

He was a brilliant man, with seemingly endless time to convert into work. And now that she thought about it, it was true that lying would at least be an occasion for Ferdinand to start thinking about himself for once. Even if, in Byleth's opinion, being Hubert Vestra’s new object of interest was not the sexiest prospect there was.

“I need to think about it,” she sighed, and then immediately lifted her hand to stop Edelgard before she could answer : “I want to be certain this isn’t destined to fail and destroy a working relationship. So let me observe them and think more about it first.”

Edelgard agreed to stop the discussion for now, though the conviction in her eyes had not faded at all. A few days later, as Byleth was printing some files for an incoming class, she turned her head as the faculty room’s door was opened and revealed a very upset Ferdinand Aegir.

In the mornings, she would usually go straight to Byleth if she was there, to say hello and chat around a cup of tea while waiting for their scheduled classes to start. However, that morning he skipped that part and went straight to Hubert Vestra’s desk, cheeks red in shame and his voice way too high.

“Mister Vestra! Here you are! And should I say, oh so not busy!”

“Mister Aegir, good morning,” the lawyer answered, not raising his head from the stack of papers he was reading.

“Yes, good morning, such a nice morning. A morning where we could have met and you could’ve given me the sheet I lost yesterday, hand to hand, instead of pinning it unto the lobby’s noticeboard!”

Hubert barely repressed a grin.

“You carelessly left your test answers sheet on the classroom desk, where any student could have read it. It was only fair to give the answers to all the students, not only the ones who managed to take a picture before I picked it up.”

“And. Why. Didn’t. You. Just. Text me?!”

“Because I don’t have your number.”

Ferdinand balled his hands, clearly repressing the want to lash out his fury. He lowered both his voice and his head, furiously whispering to his colleague about how shameful it was to bully a TA this way, the other man hardly hiding his own jubilation.

Byleth turned away from the commotion, while other teachers started laughing, shaking their head or rolling their eyes. She took her phone and typed :

Edie  
  
**Today** 9:05 AM  
Ok. This could work.  
  


Edelgard was at home right now but she saw the message. And while she was supposed to be studying at that hour, the little dots of her typing appeared. Ferdinand was also getting his smartphone out of his pocket, forcing the other teacher to add him in his contacts.

Edie  
  
**Today** 9:05 AM  
Ok. This could work.  
However. I have conditions.  
  


The dots disappeared. After a few seconds Edelgard finally answered :

  
What conditions?  
  
I refuse to create something with the risk of it being artificial. We have tell them at some point. Whether it works or not.  
  
If it works out, it would be very cruel.  
  
Just as cruel as us playing cupids.  
  
Alright. What else?  
  
You’re in charge of convincing Hubert.  
  


* * *

Byleth decided to be straightforward. She was starting to know Ferdinand pretty well, and she came to the conclusion that the best way to make him believe such a incongruous lie would be sincerity.

She was a good actor in the sense than she had a great poker face, which really helped when students tried to feed her bullshit about losing their work or coming to her class with no clue what the current lesson was. She definitely could take advantage of that - her cold, serious stare held more meaning than words, and it could save her from purely lying.

But that wasn’t all. Byleth had agreed to this plan because she’d seen the two men interact, and while it was clear it was nothing more than a work relationship, she had felt something. She had no idea how to name it, maybe it was just chemistry. It wasn’t nothing, at least. And she decided to work on that gut feeling, trying to convince herself that she was not only doing that for the sake of their _plan_.

It was friday, lunch time, and Ferdinand was sitting in the cafeteria, his hair tied in a ponytail, a few locks escaping and still falling in front of his eyes. He seemed to be getting irritated with it, or maybe it was mostly because of his computer, open in front of him. Byleth went to sit in the opposite seat, stretching her neck so that her face appeared from behind the computer screen. Finally, Ferdinand noticed her and while the smile he gave her was still tired and frustrated, he decided to close his PC.

“Oh, Professor. How was your day?”

“Better than yours, from what I can see. What’s the matter?”

A sigh escaped him, and he shook his head, his smile now very strained.

“Nothing. It’s nothing. Please don’t worry yourself with that.”

She didn’t expect him to be in this kind of mood, it could actually be a problem. They wanted their two targets to have the weekend to think about the lies they were about to feed them with. But they wouldn’t really go anywhere if their head was already full of worries.

“Too late,” she answered with her usual deadpan tone. “Except if it personal, of course.”

Ferdinand winced, throwing his teacher a look before turning to his forgotten lunch, a sandwich and a green salad.

“It’s just been a very long week.” He stayed silent, then whispered : “And now, my…” He closed his eyes, took a very long and deep breath, finally letting go of the words : “My father is an asshole. That’s it. And this is his normal self, so I shouldn’t be too upset, but…”

He didn’t finish that sentence, the shake of his head talking for him. Byleth appreciated the confession, and while she decided to not push it further now that it was clearly an intimate matter, she enjoyed seeing him with something other than his professional smile. Meanwhile, Hubert entered the cafeteria, coffee cup in hand, lost in a daze. He went to sit a few tables away, close to the corner and behind Ferdinand’s back, a spot he often occupied.

“You should relax this weekend,” she decided to tell her TA. “Just do things for yourself, things that you would enjoy. Watch a movie, visit a friend, have a drink with a stranger – treat yourself.”

That brought back a little life to Ferdinand’s otherwise exhausted expression. He bit his lower lip, chuckling.

“A one-night stand, huh… I’ve had pretty bad experiences.”

“Sorry to hear that. My point stays still - there is nothing wrong in indulging yourself for a few days. I’ve already told you that before, though.”

“I like working, that’s just how it is.”

“We all need a break at one point. And right now, I can see you desperately need one.”

Case and point because Ferdinand didn’t even try to fight back. He just slowly nodded, sitting back in his chair and combing his fingers through his hair.

“I guess… I could try to come up with a plan to get back at Mr Vestra. They say revenge is best served cold, but his anger would bring me a lot of joy.”

Byleth repressed a smile, because while she had breached the subject of Ferdinand’s week with the intention of talking about Hubert’s bullying tendencies, she hadn’t expected him to talk about it on his own.

“You have to admit he was right. Some of your students could’ve seen the answers, you needed to redo the test anyway.”

“I am aware,” he agreed. “But I’m still not fond of his method. He could’ve been a lot more courteous about it and come find me at the beginning of the day, like anyone else would.”

“Yes, it was very childish of him.” She rolled her eyes. “It really is pulling pigtails, at this point.”

Ferdinand blinked when he heard the phrase, frowning a little. However, he answered with a simple laugh.

“Oh, Professor, you make it seem like Mr Vestra just wanted to tease me in a friendly way, and not purely humiliate me in front of my students.”

That’s when Ferdinand saw her face. The soft frown of her brows and the very serious look she was now giving him. He stopped laughing.

“What? I know I’m right. He didn’t even deny it. He laughed at my face.”

“Ferdinand, no one checks the lobby’s noticeboard. I am pretty sure none of your students saw the sheet before you removed it, it was monday morning.”

“There are students in the morning!”

“Well, there certainly is _you_ , and other upright students. None of whom would cheat during a test.”

“What if I hadn’t seen the sheet to take it off, then?”

“You’re the only one pinning stuff on the board. He knew you would check.”

The TA opened his mouth, before closing it, starting to look a little red in the cheeks. He looked around him, the cafeteria was busy and no one would notice their conversation, even less Hubert who was still sitting too far away from them and unable to hear anything coming from their table.

“Let’s say you’re right!” he conceded. “That doesn’t change that he was making fun of me.”

“Of course. I am not taking his defense, Ferdinand.”

“Good.” He finally picked up his fork and went to attack his salad, still not eating a single leaf. “Because it didn’t seem that way.”

Byleth kept an innocent face, opening her lunch box.

“I just feel bad. This is the most awkward approach I’ve seen in a long while.”

“Approach?” He frowned again, now completely lost. “We’re not friends, but I wouldn’t say we have a bad relationship, far from it. What would he need to approach me for?”

She took the first bite of her omelet, looking at her TA, and she let her silence talk. His lips started to squeeze in a thin line, his eyebrows scrunching, like he was facing a complex math equation.

“Stop looking at me like I’m stupid. What am I missing? What are you saying?”

Byleth kept on eating, throwing a look at Hubert who now had his head buried in his hands, looking like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders while in reality he was probably just on his 36th hour of surviving only on caffeine. Ferdinand turned on his chair, caught sight of him, and his brows furrowed in confusion. He came back to stare at Byleth, still looking lost.

However, he wasn’t convinced. Far from it. While she knew it would only come with a few more days and Edelgard having the same conversation with Hubert, she still needed to push a little bit. And it was so easy, and almost fun, she didn’t even feel bad anymore.

“I’m not saying anything. It’s just a feeling I've had. I could be wrong.”

“O, Of course you’re wrong!” Ferdinand bellowed, salad once again forgotten and a tight fake smile stretching his lips. “There is no way in hell. No way. You have too much imagination, Professor.”

“Really?”

Big eyes stared at her. It was now time for her to shine. She started making motions with her fork, like she was in the middle of a lecture.

“I can’t pretend to know him very well, but Hubert is not as emotionless as he pretends to be. He wears a persona because of his work but also as Edie’s guardian. He’s not the type to open himself to a lot of people. And yet he did it with you, somehow. In his own way.”

Ferdinand was now beet-red. He gazed at her, already lost in his thoughts, probably replaying in his mind every interaction he and Hubert ever had. He turned on his chair again, slower this time, like he was trying to be subtle. Hubert had now raised his head from his palms, and his gaze caught Byleth’s. She sent him a sympathetic smile, to which he answered with his own, little, soft pulling of lips.

However, in this position, Ferdinand thought this was directed to him. He immediately looked away, a hand in front of his mouth, and still as red as the tomato slipping out of his long-forgotten sandwich. He gave her one last incredulous look.

“No way.”

Byleth shrugged, and finished her lunch box, satisfaction in her heart.

Hook, line, and sinker.

* * *

Ten hours of sleep, more than half a coffee kettle, and Hubert was finally able to function as a human being. Between the semester’s finals coming very soon, and a very big case that had suddenly fallen on him, this week had been hell for him.

And in this situation, there was obviously only one person who could still manage to steal some of his time. Luckily, Edelgard had been smart enough to entice him with a bottle of wine she knew he liked and that’s how the two friends found themselves lounging in Hubert’s living room, very tired and very tipsy. He was on the floor, gladly giving his sofa to the younger woman, and he was just staring at the ceiling, now out of adjectives to describe all the hate he was holding against a certain man called Tomas.

“This insignificant, little thing, I truly hope our ways never cross ever again. Otherwise I might actually take advice from Vestra Senior’s Old Book Of Torture.”

“Did he really have one of those?” she chuckled, very resistant to wine, and honestly enjoying seeing his friend so pissed off.

Hubert shook his head.

“You... do not want to know.”

“Oh come on. This is just a book. And he never did anything except thinking those things, right? He was sentenced for bribery, forgery and use of forgery, if I remember correctly.”

Hubert stared at her for a few seconds, enough for the light to go back to his clear eyes, anger now truly gone and replaced by mischief.

“My father’s mind already frightens me, I am certainly not taking the risk of you using those intimidation methods against me.”

“Don’t tempt me,” she smirked, finishing her glass. Now empty, she placed it on the ground near the couch and laid her head on a pillow, while Hubert was back to being lost in the white emptiness of his ceiling. “You know people actually think I can give you orders?”

“Well, you can. That doesn’t mean I’d obey.”

“What a gift,” she laughed.

He answered with a simple smile, closing his eyes and slowly breathing out. His cheeks were a little pink because of the alcohol, but also how warm the room was thanks to the heating system.

Holidays were right around the corner, and with it a lot of festivities and family celebrations they wouldn’t need to attend. Edelgard had planned to go to the big university party for New Year though, and she had already convinced Hubert to accompany her since Byleth would be spending time with her father and twin brother. And she felt like she could engage the _conversation_ if she started from there.

“I know I asked you to come with me, but I would be alright if you chose to spend New Year’s in any other way, you know.”

At that, Hubert opened one eye, clearly sceptical about the sudden change of subject. She tried to keep a straight face, because while Byleth had a seemingly easy time with Ferdinand, she would need to tread carefully. If Hubert understood what she was trying to do, everything would be over.

“I do not see any other option I would have.”

“Oh come on, you attorneys must have your own party.”

“I wouldn’t know.”

Edelgard sighed, pouting a little.

“I cannot be the only person in your life, Hubert. We already talked about that.”

“I am fine with my own isolation,” he sighed, because indeed, they already had this talk a few times. “And if I wasn’t, I would tell you.”

“Are you really fine with it? It never once crossed your mind? You never, ever saw the appeal a meaningful relationship could have?”

A louder sigh escaped him, almost a growl. He rolled his eyes and started massaging his forehead.

“What’s with this, suddenly?”

“You’ll be thirty soon. I’m just worried.”

“And the relationship you wish I had is not something I can obtain all by myself.” Hubert lowered his hands, letting them lay above his head. “I do not care for artificiality. If I ever come across something sincere, that I could feel, I would have no reason not to pursue it. However, as of today, I have never.”

She closed her fists, shaken by the pessimistic point of view. This was actually making her even more determined. She wanted to prove Hubert wrong. And while she was, in his words, trying to create something that might not come from absolute sincerity, she was convinced it could lead to that. It had to, or it wouldn’t work.

Ferdinand was one the most genuine person she knew. And he was stubborn, and he was smart, and he admired Hubert openly. He might find him infuriating at times, he had been one of the firsts to actually talk about her best friend in positive words, with no hidden goal.

Edelgard truly wanted Hubert to understand that feeling of finding someone who is exactly but not at all as you expect them to be. She wanted him to feel appreciated, beautiful, admired by someone that wasn’t her. He just needed a push. And at this point, she was fine being the one shoving him in the water, as forceful as it may be.

“And what makes you think you have no one like that?” she finally said after a long pause.

“No one like what?”

“No sincere admirer.”

That got her one of his deep and cutting laugh, and while he wasn’t one to roll on the floor in hysterics, him already being there really gave a boom to his voice.

“Oh, do tell then,” he rasped, trying to regain composure but still lost to his hilarity. “It’s been a while since I’ve laughed this way, please continue. Who, exactly, is the mysterious degenerate you’re thinking about?”

“This is extremely rude to say things like that about a colleague, Hubert.”

He slowly stopped laughing, but only because his complexion had turned so baffled it kept the giggles inside.

“A colleague?”

“What, were you expecting someone else?”

“Well, if we’re talking stupid enough to fancy me, I can’t see anyone but a student. I have much more respect towards my coworkers and their intelligence.”

“That’s a good start. I guess.”

Hubert blinked and sat up correctly to direct his eyes to his friend’s, probing for the truth behind all of this conversation. He knew something was fishy. She couldn’t give any names, now, this would ruin it all. Edelgard leaned forward so that she could face her friend and put her hands on his shoulders. He gave them a little wary look before returning her stare.

“Listen. What I’m about to tell you, I never actually said it. Ok?”

“Hmm.”

“Good. I’ve heard, from someone I will not name,” He immediately understood she meant Byleth, of course it would be Byleth. “That you’re a heartbreaker.”

He refrained a snort.

“A heartbreaker?”

“A heartbreaker.”

“And whose heart did I break?” he said, making a mocking gesture of the hand.

“She didn’t tell me. She only mentioned things like…” Edelgard took a meaningful pause. “You, bullying a TA. And him, while very upset and flustered, sneakily giving you his phone number.”

His hand stopped moving. His eyes widened, and then narrowed. However, she could feel under her hands that he was suddenly very tense.

“Aegir is certainly not interested in the likes of me.”

“Why the flat denial?” she decided to push, almost giggly seeing her friend losing his cool.

“Is this a joke? Are you that drunk?” He frowned. “This is not funny.”

“What’s the matter? Really, what makes it so unbelievable?”

“Heterosexuality.”

Edelgard blinked and then hollered with laughter, falling back on the couch and wiping a few tears of mirth. Meanwhile, Hubert still looked comically puzzled, and unnerved.

“Oh, god, Hubert! I met him at the LGBTQ+ uni association! Did you really forget?”

It seemed like he did. He blinked a few times, not looking very amused. But that was probably the wine.

“I only remember how annoying he was that year, running against you as the university representative,” he mumbled, not moving from his spot on the floor.

“Well, there was that too, he dropped out when they offered him to become a TA instead. But still.”

He cleared his throat, finally lowering his hand. He still looked cautious, although his eyes now shone with the beginning of doubt.

“Like I told you, you didn’t hear it from me, ok?”

“I didn’t, because this is horseshit.”

She shook her head, rolling her eyes. Inside, she was actually cheering. Hubert not caring was Hubert not even mentioning something, or doing it with a scorning tone. And his tone, just now, had been very, very serious.

“Try to be nice, ok? You’re not supposed to know, after all.”

“There’s nothing to know. Or do.”

“If you say so.”

“Nothing,” he maintained, throwing the iciest look at her. She just nodded, a smile still on her face.

Because she knew how Hubert acted, when he was serious. And if he was as intense trying to make sense of Ferdinand’s potential feelings as he was trying to deny his own sudden bashfulness… she had no doubt in her success.

* * *

Monday came. Byleth was once again making copies for her classes, lost in her thoughts, trying to wake up. It was barely seven, she still hadn’t drank her coffee.

Ferdinand seemed pretty well, at least he had taken her advice and had a relaxing week-end. He was chatting with a coworker, his voice hard to miss in the fairly small faculty room. She wondered if he had already forgotten about Friday’s chat and dread mixed with relief started growing inside her. If Ferdinand didn’t react, their plan was as good as dead. Hubert would never believe anything, if Ferdinand didn’t give anything away.

The clatter of the door opening and the sudden silence in the room made her turn around. That’s when she saw it. Hubert Vestra, well dressed, like always, but maybe even more on that day because he had to be in court soon. He walked to his desk, every step very clear, almost menacing. And he was glaring at Ferdinand.

His bright eyes never looked away from the biology TA, his stare cold, almost angry. He was intensely analyzing the younger man, be it from the far back of the room when he entered, or when he walked next to him and saluted him, and then from the corner of his eyes, as the redhead tried to regain composure and go back to his current chat.

Ferdinand was clearly shaken by the attention, his neck bright red and his voice unstable. His laugh was too loud, and while he seemed lost between real fright and embarrassment, he kept his composure. Too bad his body was completely betraying him.

Hubert didn’t stay long, only needing a few papers and already departing for his scheduled trial. Before closing the door behind him, he threw another look at Ferdinand, who tried vainly to reciprocate, mustering his most deadly and serious look which only made him look slightly miffed by the situation.

Some sighs resonated through the faculty room when Hubert disappeared. It already tended to happen when Hubert arrived and was in a clear bad mood, but today, anyone could feel the tension between the two men. The teacher who had been talking with Ferdinand tried to ask him what was wrong but he pretended he did not know what she was talking about.

Byleth repressed a smile. And sent a thumbs up emoji to her girlfriend.

It was on.

**To be continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case : in this universe, Hubert is almost 30, Byleth is 28, Ferdinand and Edelgard are both 25. The reason why they’re the same age but not on the same level of education is because, with her childhood incident, Edelgard missed on two years of school.
> 
> I really. Really wanted to make Hubert a prosecutor. Just for that Miles Edgeworth vibe. But my friend who’s studying law told me that in France/Europe, a prosecutor is not allowed to be a teacher, plurality of offices is forbidden for them. So, yeah, Hubie is an attorney. It’s already cool enough.
> 
> BTW I didn't want to imply that this fanfiction was taking place in any country, because fe3h clearly mixes many influences; BUT it would be a European country, obviously. The game clearly uses European influences, just with the names, and also I happen to be European so it's easier for me to just write about things I know.  
> So yeah, feel free to imagine them anywhere you like! I have absolutely no clue how the American school system works but I know it's very different from the french one for example.  
> All of this just to say : please, don't think too much about it. This is just a silly au. Who cares, really, as long as ferdibert bang in the end (they will don't worry).
> 
> The quote in the description is directly taken from the movie _Amelie Poulain_ (I don't even know why I suddenly thought about it one night, but this is where the whole concept of the fic came from lol).
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed this first chapter!! I've also written chap 2 & 3, and I hope I'll be able to publish a new chapter every two weeks (I usually post on sundays).  
> If you want updates, I made a twitter account just for my fics (and also my fe3h retweets) : [@PapyFerdiBertie](https://twitter.com/PapyFerdiBertie)!  
> And my main, multifandom one [@papy1412](https://twitter.com/Papy1412)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, beta-read by [@GaikotsuRamen](https://twitter.com/GaikotsuRamen) on twitter, and [Ramen (Blushing Teddy Bear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlushingTeddybear/pseuds/Ramen) on Ao3 <333

There was no way.

Ferdinand Aegir was not an idiot. He could be naive, he could be excessively optimistic at times. But he’d truly need to be a complete _moron_ to believe what Byleth had told him.

Hubert Vestra? The Courtroom Devil? Interested in him? Even as a joke, it didn’t make sense.

Since the day they had met, most of their conversations had been cordial at best. Pure insolence at worst. He soon understood why : the man was not only an incredible lawyer, he was also his old rival’s best friend. And while Ferdinand had been nothing but courteous with Edelgard, treating her as an equal withstanding the two school years separating them; Vestra may have thought of him as a brat at that time.

Luckily, they had gone past that. Now, Vestra saw him as a coworker. A young, still-wet-behind-the-ears teacher but one nonetheless. They both knew their little arguments were just play. And while Ferdinand tended to get really mad with the teasing sometimes, he knew that if he went to the older man and straight up told him to stop, he would.

So, yes. They were not really friends, but they tolerated each other just fine. Which didn’t explain why he was suddenly being glared at. He felt like a mouse about to be eaten whole by a hawk, and it sucked. It absolutely sucked.

At first he returned those stares. What else could he do, there was no reason for him to just act as if nothing was happening! If he didn’t, he’d lose. He felt like this was a challenge that he had to face, some kind of test.

After a few days, the looks stopped being so hateful. Sure, he was still being stared at at any occasion, but at least he didn’t feel like he was about to get killed anymore. It was more like the feeling of a stare in the middle of his back every time he left the faculty room. A familiar silhouette always dressed in darker tones, the sight of crossed arms and a seemingly bored expression when he turned away from the coffee machine. A flash of green that suddenly appeared from behind a curtain of short black hair when they crossed way in corridors. And that’s when it became truly embarrassing.

Ferdinand started blushing every time he felt that gaze.

Really, he wished he could control himself better, but he felt naked when Mr Vestra watched him with such intensity. Like he could read deep inside of him and find his every secret. Those two bright eyes, shining with intelligence, watched his every move like he was being analyzed.

Still, he shouldn’t be so overwhelmed by it, not when it had been happening for almost a week already. He shouldn’t blush when their eyes crossed and Mr Vestra frowned just a little, visibly not upset anymore, but with something akin to curiosity. He shouldn’t be all skittish and about to trip on his own feet and ridicule himself in front of tons of students, just from catching one look in the full cafeteria. He shouldn’t feel… so naked, yes, that was the word.

Ferdinand sighed very loudly, his head hitting the metro bar he was holding. To be fair, it had been years since he’d gotten laid. He just didn’t have that kind of time. When he started university, he needed to pay his bills and his part-time jobs were leaving him too stressed and tired for a relationship. When his situation got a little better and he started having an honest salary, he still found himself too busy to go out. And he was fine with it. He would soon finish his studies and while he’d miss his job as a teacher and the paycheck that came with it, he would be living a fulfilling life. He would have time to finally take care of himself. Later.

That added to his own arguments against Hubert Vestra being interested in him. First of all, Ferdinand was just a TA. No one important, really. He told anyone around that he was planning to work in animal science research but that wasn’t the truth at all. All Ferdinand wanted was to commit as a member of the animal protection association he’d been part of for a few years, even if it meant throwing away a very well paid and safe job. An amazing job in this very university, a life between labs and classrooms, sometimes conferences, and with a five digits paycheck. He wanted to give up on that.

Hubert Vestra, on the other hand, would surely never give any attention to anyone not in possession of at least one PhD. He was a star in the legal world, famous enough to choose his clients, he sometimes appeared in the news. He was a very charming man with an interesting sense of humor, a brilliant career that inspired him a lot of respect. And he was attractive. Surely he had his share of admirers and conquests. There was no way Ferdinand would catch his eye, in any way.

But why the staring?

Ferdinand thought about confronting Mr Vestra a few times that week, just to ask him what his deal was. But he clearly didn’t have the guts. Byleth’s words were like a poison, coming back to him every time he found himself in a setting where he could ask the question without drawing attention. So he blushed and ducked away where Mr Vestra couldn’t see him.

It happened earlier that day. Ferdinand was answering some questions at the end of a class and the auditorium was already empty when the student finally left. He started gathering his belongings, lost in his own head, which led to him muttering to himself to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything this time. And then he heard the chuckle.

He immediately froze, forced to awkwardly turn around and see who caught him in this pretty weird position. But when the person making fun of him – undone ponytail, old jeans and sneakers Ferdinand Aegir – turned out to be Mr Vestra – dark shirt, pressed slacks and wingtip shoes Hubert Vestra? His entire face caught on fire.

It was Monday and after a nice weekend without feeling anyone staring at his back, Ferdinand had relaxed, convincing himself that this week would be different. However, he was already being proved wrong by the man standing at the top of the stairs, looking at him without an ounce of shame. His arms crossed on his chest, his head cocked a little bit on the left, he was smirking without saying a single word – smiling at a joke he wouldn’t share. Ferdinand hastily retrieved his bag, running for the door. Even with his back facing him, he was able to feel Mr Vestra still looking at him. It was infuriating because he wanted to face the other man and call him out. But he really, really couldn’t, even less in this situation where he so clearly lacked the upper hand.

He sighed, still warm, reminiscing the scene. He didn’t want to react like this but he hated being caught by surprise this way, especially when he didn’t have the time to check on his own appearance. Appearances had been everything to him when he was younger, it was still ingrained in his mind that he should look perfect at all times or else he’d make a bad impression, make a fool of himself and his family. He didn’t like thinking like that, but he just couldn’t help it.

At least, he quickly forgot about this painful memory when the metro car stopped at his station. He swiftly made his way out of the train and then went up the stairs while checking the time on his phone, and then starting to run.

He often spent his afternoons and evenings working for his association. It left him with only a few hours of sleep afterwards, but he found it worth it since meeting with the other members always left him in high spirits. Most of them were women and he enjoyed it a lot if he was honest. He didn’t have the occasion to make a lot of girl friends when he was young, because his father was the type of man to look down on the “frivolities” girls occupied their time with and he didn’t want his son to have anything to do with that. Now that he could easily tell his father to fuck off, he immensely enjoyed the influence those women had on his life.

Ingrid greeted him when she saw him pass the threshold. Bernadetta was on her computer, probably working on their monthly budget but she quickly waved at him from afar. He went to sit at his desk, checking the few notes left at his attention as well as a few letters.

“You look tired,” Ingrid remarked, to which he answered with a pout. “I know I say that almost every day, but you could just rest like a normal human being and I’d stop.”

“I’m fine,” he mumbled. “It was just a long day.”

She didn’t try to push it further and Ferdinand immediately submerged himself into work. He’d received emails from smaller organizations who were “working on the field”, investigating agrarian companies suspected of crimes he preferred not explaining in detail. They had a few lawsuits in progress and he was involved as the association’s scientific expert. You know, because you needed to scientifically prove that battery farming was animal cruelty.

After two hours, Ferdinand finally got up and went to the kettle, feeling the deep need of a cup of tea. Dorothea was already there so he went to sit on the kitchen chair and waited for his turn, but she told him there was probably enough water for two and poured some in his mug. He started stirring his tea bag while Dorothea was complaining about her job and how one guy was extremely annoying and relentless in what he thought was just _flirting_.

Ferdinand couldn’t help but think about his own situation, again. It wasn’t the same, there was no flirting, there was no interest to begin with. However, with his absolute lack of answers, he was getting quite desperate. So he tried, because who knew, she might actually help him clear the fog that had been in his mind for days already.

“Have you ever had… an acquaintance, who is not quite a friend, but… who is staring at you constantly?”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Ferdinand knew he was doomed. It sounded so bad, even he would’ve jumped to the obvious conclusion. And the look she was giving him, surprised but also puzzled, was a bad sign.

“Hum, well, people with crushes tend to do that, yes. And I don’t want to brag but yes, it happened to me.”

“It… The thing is that I don’t think it’s a crush,” he quickly explained.

“Why?”

“Because sometimes, it looks like he actually wants to kill me!”

Hearing the masculine pronoun immediately got her even more invested. She put her chin on her hands, and said :

“So you’re wondering if a guy has a crush on you or if he’s a murderer?”

“He’s not a murderer, but I’m not lying – he gave me some nasty looks.”

“Ferdie, do I actually need to call the police or are you just being overdramatic?”

He groaned and buried his hands in his hair.

“That’s the thing! I. Don’t. Know!”

“That looks like dramatics.”

“Ugh.”

Dorothea took a sip of her tea, barely hiding her smirk behind it.

“Well. I’m gonna need the full story if you truly want advice. That seems fair.”

“We’re at work, I don’t have the time–”

“We have all the time,” Ingrid intervened, looking way too smug as she slid on the chair next to Dorothea. “I’m your boss, I decide.”

Ferdinand was reluctant but he truly believed they could help him, so he explained the whole situation. He didn’t mention his conversation with Byleth though, he felt like it wouldn’t matter, because she was obviously very wrong. Also, he didn’t give Mr Vestra’s name – he was some kind of celebrity after all, he certainly didn’t need to humiliate himself further. At least, the two women seemed to take him seriously. They started thinking out loud.

“It’s true that it’s strange. You’re sure you didn’t do anything to piss him off?” Ingrid asked.

“If I had I think I would know it by now. He’s always been quite open with me, even if it’s infuriating sometimes. I cannot see why it would’ve changed now. And we don’t even work in the same department.”

“What if he’d always been watching you like this? Is it possible you just hadn’t noticed before?”

That made him pout, because he had thought about it and immediately came to the conclusion that he had always been far too aware of Mr Vestra’s presence when they were in the same room. He was a hard man to ignore.

“Even if he had, I still don’t understand why. And also, his attitude on the first day was really, really noticeable, and right in my eyes too. I don’t think I could’ve missed it.”

His friends couldn’t come up with any other explanation after that, none that would fit his situation. Dorothea then decided to be upfront about it :

“Let’s take it the other way around. Ferdie – why are you so sure this is not just a guy awkwardly showing his attraction to you?”

“Because there’s no way,” he insisted, feeling like the conversation with Byleth was happening again. “This guy is really not the type to be interested in younger people, he’s just…” He gritted his teeth, because this was so hard to explain without giving away his identity. He finally gave up. “He’s _famous_. And if you’ve heard about him, you know why I just cannot believe it.”

“Who is it?”

“...Hubert Vestra. He’s a lawyer but he also teaches criminal law in my university.”

While Dorothea seemed to have never heard of the name, Ingrid frowned a little and asked him to wait while she searched on google. As soon as his picture came up, her eyebrows jumped up.

“Oh, yes, I’ve seen him! And…” Her fist fell in her open hand. “I heard Bernadetta talking about him once, she worked with him when she was a registrar in court.”

Ferdinand wasn’t expecting that. However, he didn’t have enough time to be shocked, Ingrid immediately went to look for their secretary, wrestling her out of her earphones so that she could come to the kitchen with them, and he found himself explaining his situation once again.

“Well yes, I’ve worked on a case with him as the defense attorney…” she quietly admitted. “But I’ve never talked with him! I really don’t know anything…”

“You’ve still seen him work! Tell us how he is, as a lawyer.”

Bernadetta slumped on the last chair available, truly looking exhausted just thinking about it, and she asked for some tea. Then, after she got her drink, she mumbled :

“He’s scary.”

“Because of his looks?” Dorothea asked, now that she had seen a picture of him.

“Well, there’s that. But he has this way of talking, it’s just… it’s chilling, I guess.”

“I can confirm that,” Ferdinand said. “I’ve never been his student, but he is well known for absolutely humiliating anyone that would try to be funny with him.”

“Well, he is a lawyer,” Dorothea shrugged.

“It’s more than that!!” insisted Bernadetta. “He’s never crossing any lines of course, but he doesn’t only do that with his opponents. I remember very clearly that I was there to register the day he pleaded to the jury. And the way he did it was very unusual!”

“How so?”

“He was almost lecturing them!” she finally explained. “Really, I’m glad I wasn’t in their seat, it was terrifying, the way he was addressing to them. He really wasn’t trying to appeal them, it was a very cutting and cold pleading. And he was glaring at them the entire time! It really felt like he was threatening them!”

Ingrid and Dorothea slowly turned to look at Ferdinand. Hubert Vestra glared at people he was trying to convince. He immediately shook his head.

“It’s completely different!”

“He uses his stare to get what he wants. His cold, threatening stare.”

“Ferdie, come on.”

“But what does he want?? He didn’t ask for anything!”

“Jesus, Ferdie, you know exactly what that means!”

“Maybe he’s tired of you not noticing him. And that worked, if you’re talking about it with us,” Ingrid added.

“He has plenty of ways to get my attention! And, once again, why _mine_!?”

Dorothea sighed, shaking her head.

“Don’t play that game. You’re a beautiful man, don’t act like you don’t know that.”

“We’re talking about Hubert Vestra,” Ferdinand reminded her with an emphasis on the name like it explained everything. “Rich, famous, handsome Hubert Vestra.”

“And he’s also your colleague–” she answered, frowning, almost upset with her friend’s denial - but Ingrid cut her speech, raising her hand between the two so that they would stop talking.

“Wait, wait, wait, please, time out. Did you just say…” She blinked, like she couldn’t believe what she was about to say. “That you find him handsome?”

That made him pause. He looked at his three friends who were watching him like owls and he forced a smile.

“Yes?”

“I’m not the type to judge,” Dorothea explained. “But he doesn’t really fit what people think of, in terms of a man’s attractiveness.”

“I… guess. So what?”

“Ferdinand, answer me honestly,” Ingrid said, looking deep into his eyes with the stare of someone who will know if you’re lying and will make you regret it. “If you forget the really creepy part, do you enjoy being looked at by him?”

He didn’t answer. Because he didn’t need to. His face, immediately turning bright red, did it for him.

“Oh my god,” Dorothea moaned, her head falling on her boss’ shoulder, while Bernadetta was hiding her mouth behind her hand.

“What?” he sputtered, still very hot under the collar. “I can’t help it! And it has nothing to do with the problem, which is that I still don’t know why he does it!”

“Ferdie, please, this changes everything.”

“How?!”

“Because we thought you wanted to find a way to reject that guy! But if you actually like him, just go talk to him god damnit!”

“I don’t _like_ him, I find him attractive, that’s all, I’m not interested!”

The three girls gave him a long look full of despair.

“And why not?”

“Yeah, why are you so upset about all of this?” Ingrid groaned. “Really, this isn’t high school, just talk to him, oh my god.”

Even Bernadetta had a word to say :

“I understand that you’d feel very awkward, but I don't think he's actually a murderer, so you should be safe.”

“I am never asking advice from you guys. Never, ever again.”

The discussion didn’t go further. Ferdinand truly felt at loss. He had no intention towards Mr Vestra. They didn’t have this kind of relationship.

But this didn’t help the small voice in his head, the one that was always there to question any conviction he had, that was reminding him of Byleth’s innuendos. And then of Mr Vestra’s small, tired smile, directed right at him. Byleth had been talking about feelings. Not lust. This changed everything. This made this entire thing impossible.

And yet, the next morning, Mr Vestra was still staring at him. And this time, it was during class. It happened that teachers would decide to enter an auditorium during a class even if it wasn’t a subject close to their specialty. Some people liked working with some background noise, and in Ferdinand’s case, all the scientific terms he was throwing around during his lecture could feel like he was speaking another language.

However, even if Mr Vestra was clearly here to work on something – probably some essays to grade – that didn’t stop his eyes from turning to the man down the stairs, scribbling on the whiteboard and excitedly teaching. Ferdinand knew he was looking. And at one point, when he finally stopped being nervous, he found the need to impress him. This time, he had taken care of his appearance beforehand. If he wanted to look, fine. He would give him a show worth staying for.

At the end of the hour he was exhausted, although extremely pleased. Not only had he managed to keep most of his students attention, but also the famous Attorney Vestra’s. This felt like a victory, a small one indeed, but after a week of hiding away from this pair of bright eyes this felt like some sort of improvement.

Students were leaving the auditorium and Ferdinand was answering some questions, but he managed to slip a look in the direction of the older man, clearly telling him to stay right where he was. Mr Vestra remained seated, slowly raising an eyebrow. It was only polite to explain to a colleague why you had decided to come and watch them teach, after all.

Finally, Ferdinand started climbing the stairs in the direction of the lawyer. It was time for him to take the matter in his own hands by engaging the conversation, now that he finally had the upper hand. He stopped at the step just above the other man, just to be sure to loom over him for once.

“Well, good morning Mr Vestra.”

“Good morning,” he answered with a low tone. It was the one he usually used during their interactions, polite but with just the right amount of levity to show that he wasn’t exactly joking around.

“It’s the second day in a row that I see you in my classroom. One would think you’re following me.”

Ferdinand had to be very careful. He couldn’t mention the staring because while the lawyer had been very obvious on the first day, he’d been a lot more discreet after that. Also, admitting that he was uncomfortable being watched would be a loss for him, once again. He couldn’t act like this was bothering him.

“Well, I regret that you would say such things. Are you that uncomfortable being around me? You seemed rather stressed seeing me yesterday, I hope this wasn’t my doing.”

He had to close his fist to repress an indignant shout. How dare he pretend he hadn’t spent a week staring at him on purpose!

“You startled me, that’s all. But I don’t see how that explains you being here today? For an entire class, too.”

The light in Vestra’s eyes changed. Ferdinand immediately disliked it. He could feel it coming : he was about to get teased, mocked, belittled in a few words. He instinctively squared his shoulders, preparing himself for the blow that was sure to come.

“I found out that your voice is very pleasing to the ear. That is all.”

Oh. He wasn’t prepared for that kind of blow. All of his determination evaporated. In a second, the mask of confidence that Ferdinand was wearing had turned to smoke. He felt it all around his neck, then his cheeks, his ears too. That was it. He was blushing, hard. And that made the older man laugh.

“What is going on? Is it too hot in here?”

“This– This isn’t funny!” he squeaked.

“It surely isn’t. We wouldn’t want any student fainting because of the heat.” He got up, swiftly slipping his pile of papers in his satchel, and smirked. “We wouldn’t want that for our beloved biology teaching assistant either, hm?”

“Get away from here, Vestra! Leave me alone!”

“I shall do just that indeed,” he sighed while turning on his heels, slowly climbing up the stairs until he reached the door. However, before he pushed it, he threw one last look at the younger man. “Please be careful.”

He just smiled and left.

Meanwhile, Ferdinand gripped the corner of a table to stay on his feet, while he desperately tried to hide his face behind his hand. He was being played with and he didn’t know what to believe anymore. Was it just another type of bullying? Was it actually how Hubert Vestra showed attention? Was he flirting and trying to get in his pants?

Lord, he was so, so, _so_ lost.

* * *

Hubert’s investigation was going pretty well, if you asked him. While he still didn’t possess all of the data he needed to confidently come to a conclusion, he could definitely say he was making some progress.

At first, he wasn’t convinced at all. He didn’t even think about it and he ended up staring at Aegir the way he sometimes stared at guilty convicts. The results were clear : Aegir had been _terrified_.

But he had to be honest - it was too harsh of a way to prove anything. He wanted so badly to convince himself that it could never, ever be the case, that he just used his intimidation technique. But this wasn’t right. He couldn’t prove anything with that. Also, Aegir didn’t deserve this treatment.

So he tried being a little bit more subtle. He decided he’d just watch him openly with a teasing smile, like he knew something the other didn’t. What he wanted was to catch some true reactions out of the other man and he easily imagined those would be akin to disgust, queasiness, anything of this kind. This time, the results were mixed. Aegir certainly didn’t seem happy to be stared at. However, he wasn’t as uncomfortable as he was expecting him to be.

And he blushed a lot.

It still didn’t mean anything. Anyone could react in any way, this clearly didn’t prove that the man was holding any feelings for him. This was why Hubert was now being more and more straightforward. He needed proof. And he was very adamant about it, even if it meant making a fool of himself.

So he started with little innuendos. First, he went to watch the other man teach, teasing him relentlessly. Then, he told him he enjoyed hearing his voice. Sadly, he wasn’t faced with the clear rebuttal he was waiting for, but the anger in the other man’s face was a great sign. Aegir didn’t enjoy it at all. At one point, he’d break and tell him he hated his guts, like a lot of people did – though it usually came without any incentive. Hubert only had to push a little bit more.

After that scene, Hubert gave him a few days of peace. He didn’t actually want the other man to accuse him of harassment. When the two of them crossed ways, Hubert settled for some more tiny teasing smiles, a little ‘good morning’ in passing. That was only when he wasn’t with Edelgard, though. He was still trying to convince her he didn’t care about what she had told him.

And then he went for it. Aegir was usually working on his computer while he ate lunch. That meant he wouldn’t see him coming, but also that he’d most likely get mad at him for interrupting his work. Hubert made a beeline for his table once he checked there was no one – namely Byleth or Edelgard – to catch him in the act and slowly leaned over the other man’s shoulder so that his mouth was just centimeters away from his ear.

“So diligent.”

The redhead yelped, his hand shooting to cover his ear. He turned around, bright red, and scowled.

“Mr Vestra! That was extremely unnecessary!”

Hubert waited for a few seconds, but that was it. The younger man was too busy tucking his hair behind his ear, shifting uncomfortably on his seat.

Huh.

That… was the moment where he was supposed to yell at him, tell him he was a douche, a creepy vampire, whatever insult came to his mind. Hubert had heard them all.

“I’m sorry, did I startle you?” he tried to push, because come on, Aegir couldn’t be that nice.

He sighed, almost sounding defeated, “Yes you did!”

And nothing came after that.

Hubert probably looked insane, standing in the middle of the cafeteria, looking at another man and waiting to get yelled at. Aegir certainly found that weird, as he shook his head, his cheeks still pretty pink, and asked :

“Do you need something? Did I forget a sheet again?”

“No. I saw you, so I came. I just wanted to see you.”

Aegir’s eyes widened at that. He opened his mouth, though nothing came out of it. Hubert, on the other hand, was secretly crossing his fingers. _Please yell at me. Please tell me to get lost. Please, prove her wrong._

But the younger man kept on evading his gaze, his ears now as flushed as the rest of his face. He knitted his brows a little, giving him some hope, but what came out of his mouth was in no way helping his case :

“Well! A gentleman would at least buy me a drink beforehand, sheesh.”

The implication in his sentence as well as the accusing stare felt like a slap in the face. In the very least, Hubert knew how to keep a straight face – though he might’ve let his surprise show at one point – and he just smiled, rolled his eyes and then turned around. He hoped the back of his neck wasn’t actually as red as Aegir’s cheeks.

He got quite desperate and tried this scenario a few other times, though with different techniques. Brushing fingers when passing the water kettle in the faculty room. Holding the door for him when they crossed ways going in or out of the library. Offhandedly giving compliments about the way he taught his classes.

But it failed. Not once did Aegir truly seem peeved by his actions, though he always reacted in a very skittish way. He seemed nervous, he stole more and more glances, and that blush was in no way getting weaker. And sure, it was a lovely red, but not quite what Hubert needed right now.

However, Hubert was stubborn. And this is why he decided that the best way to wrap up his investigation would be to let go. Stop playing. Just revert to his normal self and stop paying attention to Aegir. Surely, if there really was something, he would show some kind of disappointment. There would be a sign. He gave it a week before he’d finally close that case and move on with his life.

Those few days were quite hectic anyway. It was the last week before Christmas holidays, which meant a lot of teachers frantically catching up on their syllabus as well as very anxious students who knew that midterms were just around the corner. In Hubert’s case, he had a very tight schedule in terms of classes which meant he wasn’t worried about finishing his syllabi on time. However, he was involved in a very complicated trial that was finally coming to an end and he was exhausted, as he usually was with cases as big as this one.

This probably explained why it took him at least an hour of sitting in the courtroom, waiting for other lawyers to finish their query, to realize there was something going on behind him. It wasn’t much, just a few whispers between young girls, probably law students. But they were usually diligent, very attentive to anything happening – after all, witnessing a case in court was usually homework given by their teacher – so this behavior was unusual. He turned around, silently hoping that staring would be enough to quiet them down, but he found himself completely losing his words.

Why was Ferdinand Aegir sitting in the audience? What was he doing here, catching every girl’s attention with his fiery bright hair, like a beacon in the darkness that was this courtroom in a winter morning? Why did he catch Hubert’s gaze, smile, and this time didn’t flush once?

Hubert turned away from him immediately, shaking his head. He didn’t have time to deal with that. He was working. It would soon be his turn. And yet, he felt that gaze burning unto his neck and he knew his every move would be observed. That almost made him groan. Now he regretted the last weeks of him being such a douche. Being watched like that was awful.

He obviously still managed to keep his cool. When he was in court, he was not Hubert Vestra – he needed to act like the ruthless, cold, unyielding lawyer his clients had paid for. Not the awkward, almost thirty years old man who had no idea what to do when faced with the possibility of an attractive man fancying him.

Luckily, Hubert managed to switch his mind to work mode and he soon forgot about the audience. They were of no importance today, the verdict would soon be pronounced. The court session was finally adjourned, but the reminder that there were still a few days left was already bearing on Hubert’s mind. He didn’t like those excessively long trials, but his notoriety forced him into those cases that were a lot more than a simple dispute between two parties. This one the media had an eye on and while he didn’t really enjoy cameras, those were good for his image. So he endured.

Still. He found himself in a weird position. He absolutely couldn’t go talk to Aegir while so many eyes were on him. But he couldn’t just leave either – he had to know what the man was doing here. Suddenly remembering that he had his number, Hubert took his smartphone and quickly typed.

Ferdinand Aegir  
  
**Today** 1:52PM  
You stay right where you are.  
  


He raised his head and directed a subtle glare to the redhead, who was suddenly overcome with attention by the students from earlier. Hubert decided to walk away, having a quick chat with his client before bidding him goodbye for the day. Then he checked his phone for an answer.

Ferdinand Aegir  
  
**Today** 1:52PM  
You stay right where you are.  
  
**Today** 2:01PM  
If you ask so nicely, I guess I have no choice.  
  


Hubert gritted his teeth, split between his annoyance at the sassy answer and, well, the short laugh it brought out of him. He went to change out of his lawyer’s robe and then walked to the court’s entrance where he found Aegir, idle and looking at his phone. 

He was still unnerved at the idea of being anything other than his lawyer persona in this building. Especially when the other man seemed to be here as a casual visit, wearing a soft and large knitted bordeaux sweater with slim pants, and winter boots. However, as soon as Aegir caught his eye, the annoyance and curiosity took over him and he swiftly walked to the other man.

“Care to explain?”

Aegir had the audacity to bark a laugh, turning in his direction and readjusting his hold on his coat.

“I was curious to see you work, that’s all. And I was free.”

“I can’t imagine you have nothing better to do in your free time.”

“Eye for an eye, you invited yourself into my class, I thought that it was only fair to do the same to one of your trials.”

Aegir suddenly seemed very sure of himself, though he couldn’t hide his restlessness completely. He could act from a distance, but now that he actually had to talk, he was just getting pinker and pinker, the blush covering the faint cloud of freckles covering his golden skin. And yet there was no fear in his eyes.

Hubert sighed. What could he answer to that? Anyone could witness a trial, Aegir was in his rights. Also, it was true that he might have deserved that unexpected appearance.

“Well. You did it. So?” He raised an eyebrow. “I surely hope you can at least share your opinion on the case.”

He honestly wasn’t expecting much from this. It was probably the first time Aegir came to observe a trial, and first of all this one was about to end but it was also a pretty complicated matter. This wasn’t a murder case or anything of this kind, his client had been charged with tax fraud and it was never easy to convince anyone that someone making money wasn’t also hiding some nice bank accounts in the Pacific. Most of the talks had been centered on administrative, boring laws, nothing exciting.

“It certainly is interesting seeing you being serious, for once,” Ferdinand said. “You’re a great actor.”

Once again, he couldn’t say he was expecting this answer. Sure, he was acting in court, like anyone of his field, but Hubert had rarely if not ever heard this about himself.

“Oh? So you’re doubting my sincerity?”

The younger man shook his head. “Quite the contrary. I am very used to you teasing me and playing around, but I certainly can see that while you might wear a mask while in the courtroom, you’re as sincere as it gets. You are the same in class, students find you tyrannical, but I’ve only seen that as dedication and love to your craft. Though we have very different ways of showing it.”

Really, what could he answer to that? It surely felt nice to find someone not calling him a heartless devil for once. But he was uncomfortable being read so easily by a man he barely knew. He didn’t like it very much, he’d learnt to pride himself of his acting abilities.

“Should I take that as a compliment?”

“You should.”

“In that case, thank you very much.”

That seemed to awaken some kind of satisfaction in Aegir, as a light started to shine in his eyes. Like a proud puppy, happy to serve and be useful to their master. Hubert had to refrain a frown, because really… really, this was getting ridiculous.

“Today’s session finished early. You’re lucky it didn’t last too long, those last days can get very boring.”

The redhead barked a laugh. “Well, I’ll be honest, I may have zoned out for a while.” He opened his mouth, seeming to hesitate for a second, but let a tight satisfied smile stretch his lips. “It was fine. You have a great voice, after all. It kept me on the edge on my seat.”

Hubert’s stomach fell. Oh, so this truly was revenge after all. And yet, the sentence shook him to his very core. Because while he had no idea if the other man was just teasing back, lying through his teeth, or being very serious; all and all, the result was the same.

He didn’t believe Aegir could be capable of liking someone like him. He didn’t believe it, no matter how many blushes, skittish glances he caught in his direction. But this candid straightforward attitude, that made him actually stand up and challenge Hubert’s own personal beliefs – he enjoyed it oh so much.

“I would still hope this experience was meaningful to you in more ways than just that.”

“It was. I never assisted to a trial before and I’m glad I went to this one.”

“Even if it was a boring case?”

Aegir smirked. “Even if it was a boring case.”

They stared at the other for ten long seconds, before Aegir turned away to look at his phone.

“It’s two already. So that’s why I’m starving.” Hubert just nodded at that, because he had no reason to admit he was quite hungry himself. Now, he was just waiting for the other man to find his way out of this progressively more and more awkward conversation. He could just say goodbye, wish him to have great holidays, etcaetera etcaetera. However, it seemed like he wasn’t ready to leave yet. “I don’t really know this part of the city. Is there a place you’d recommend?”

He crossed his arms, barely repressing the squinting of his eyes. He could see that Aegir was planning something. And he had no idea what to expect, which explained his defensive body language.

“Depends on the occasion. I usually look for something quick and cheap, that also serves coffee. I’ll make more efforts if I need to meet with a client.”

“What about eating out with your friends?”

That stung a little. It also comforted Hubert’s doubts - did Aegir actually like or hate him? Really, that seemed like a big step between the two but he’d wager it could only be one or the other.

“The bakery should do just fine. Now, excuse me– ”

“That won’t do,” Aegir quickly answered him. “Didn’t you just say you’d only go somewhere you can drink coffee?”

Hubert stopped in his tracks. It finally dawned on him. That was where Aegir was going. That was what he wanted.

“...are you inviting me out for lunch?”

The younger man blinked, playing dumb.

“Why are you phrasing it like I’m threatening you? Why not? We’re friends, aren’t we?” He frowned a little, even though his smirk was clearly not going anywhere. “I came to that conclusion, what with you all over my back for the entire week. Did I misunderstand, Mr Vestra?”

Hubert could see the challenge in those maroon eyes. Like Aegir was testing him, like he actually wanted him to say no, just so that he’d become the bad guy in this entire farce. However, like he’d said, Hubert was a great actor.

“Well I certainly do not call my friends by their family name. ...Ferdinand.”

Immediately, red bloomed on the man’s cheeks. They were trading blow for blow. Visibly, he conceded defeat on this one.

“After you, then. Hubert.”

If Ferdinand wanted to play buddies with him, he’d play with him. There was truly no reason for Hubert to back down anymore. He would find out what exactly the younger man wanted from him, the reason why Ferdinand was so interested in him. They’d already come so far with the big joke that was this relationship.

Might as well see where this would lead them.

**To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic basically became Kaguya-sama Love Is War and I have zero (0) regrets.
> 
> I'm still two chapters ahead in terms of schedule, so that's a great sign! Chapter 3 will be up in two weeks, hope you liked this one!
> 
> You can find me on twitter [@PapyFerdiBertie](https://twitter.com/PapyFerdiBertie), my fe3h account!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW in this chapter for some nice little internalized homophobia, because we’re going to talk about the Aegir family. No slurs, but I thought I should warn you all. I know it’s a sensitive topic so I’ll put a warning before every chapter that has this kind of content.
> 
> As always, thanks to Ramen for the beta and all the side-eye emojis <333

Edelgard stopped in her tracks when she heard it, almost losing her grip on the documents she was holding. She had been expecting anything after meeting up with Ferdinand while they were going to the uni’s LGBTQ+ association and subtly asking him about Hubert, but certainly not that the two just had a date and were now on first name basis.

“You had a date with Hubert.”

She just said that aloud, as if it could make it more real. But it truly couldn’t. In a way, she was overjoyed because she had been right – her plan was working. The two men were enjoying the other’s company even though they had such a rocky start, what with Hubert’s very Hubert-esque version of bedroom eyes. However, she was also quite livid. He hadn’t told her anything. He had tried to hide it from her. And oh, he would pay, she’d make sure he’d pay for that.

She didn’t have time to think of her revenge though, because Ferdinand immediately turned in her direction with wide eyes :

“It wasn’t a date! We’re friends! It was just lunch between friends!”

She raised an eyebrow. Alright, she might have interpreted a little bit too much but still. She couldn’t miss the truly bashful way Ferdinand was now acting, looking around him as if checking that no one had heard any of their words.

“If you say so.”

“I surely do!” he puffed, slowly going back to a normal face color.

“I still didn’t know you two had grown so close.”

“He didn’t tell you?” he muttered, barely hiding his surprise to hear this.

“I’ll make sure to ask him why.” Edelgard threw a look at the other student, deliberated in her head for a few seconds before she decided she had nothing to lose. “But I guess he’s just embarrassed.”

He stumbled a little, but quickly regained his poker face, clearly not looking at her and walking a little bit faster.

“...I don’t see why. Having lunch with me is in no way embarrassing.”

“You know why,” she said in a low voice. He didn’t answer to that.

Edelgard bit her lip because she shouldn’t meddle too much. For her plan to work, she needed to stay as far away from it as possible. It already had great results without her or Byleth involving themselves anymore.

That was why she decided she’d just trust them. They were grown-ups who clearly enjoyed the other’s company, and their plan could actually be very good for the two of them.

Everything was going to be fine, she thought to herself as she followed Ferdinand who was already running away.

* * *

Everything was going to end so, so badly, Ferdinand thought as he read a message from Hubert himself, wishing him a merry Christmas. As soon as he did, he felt a weight on his shoulder.

“Hey Ferdie, who are you talking to?”

He quickly shoved his phone into his pocket, but since he didn’t take the time to lock it, his ten years old nephew stole it from behind and ran away. Obviously, his older niece didn’t try to stop him, laughing out loud at her brother’s antics.

“Ah, it’s a guy,” his nephew Theo mumbled, suddenly less interested in his just stolen phone. However, Andrea was seven years older than him and was much more aware of the family’s last scandals, so she smirked at Ferdinand. Theo gave him back his phone and quickly went back to brushing the ponies.

“Is it _the_ guy, Ferdie?”

“I didn’t know there was _a_ guy,” he mumbled.

“Aw, don’t play dumb with me. You can tell me, you finally can!”

So it seemed. Years ago, Ludwig Aegir had kicked a son out of the familial house and it had been strictly forbidden to talk about it. No one could even mention him. He, who should’ve been there to take over the family business, had quite the scandalous coming out which brought _shame_ to the Aegir name. So yeah. That had quite severely severed his ties with the rest of the family.

With the years, some aunts and cousins that liked him _withstanding his affliction_ – yes some of them had phrased it like that – had reached out to him, but it had been a weird moment for the younger ones. How could they explain such a thing to them, after all, they were _too young_ for _that_.

Anyway, Ferdinand hated most of his family and despised their old fashioned mindset. He had been ready to never see or talk to any of them again, mostly his father, until Ludwig suddenly decided he had a change of heart. It had happened about six months ago, Ferdinand was barely out of class that the bald head of Ludwig Aegir had appeared in front of him. Obviously, meeting him in a place where his son was surrounded by his own students was Ludwig’s way to make sure he wouldn’t just run or tell him to fuck off. Ferdinand had reluctantly agreed to see him once more, for a very cold and stilted dinner where his father had basically explained that he was a new man that needed forgiveness, that he was welcome back in the Aegir family, blah blah blah.

That seemed fine on paper. Ferdinand hadn’t believed one word of it, but he didn’t care enough about the reason why his father went this far to lie so openly. And now he knew. He understood as soon as he received the email from his paternal unit, inviting him to the family’s Christmas party. The family dinner which his father’s potential new business partner would also attend. A businessman who was also known to be a very homosexual man.

Once again, Ferdinand had barely been surprised. Mostly tired and annoyed because the only winner in this whole affair was, once again, his father. Ludwig didn’t suddenly accept his son’s sexuality, it just became profitable for him. Nowadays, it was better for a brand to take a stance regarding gender and sexuality issues and his strategy was to be one of the sole pro-LGBTQ+ brands in the horse racing world. Really, it was smart. This world was so macho and full of right-wingers, he’d make sensation if he made this old familial brand look progressive. If people got mad, that would mean he had won. People would talk about it, the media too and it would bring so much more attention to him from outside the track field. That was just marketing. Nothing more.

That still meant Ferdinand actually had to come to celebrate Christmas with his family now, because if he refused, it meant that _he_ was the bad guy. His family was suddenly overly sympathetic with his fate but also kept mentioning his father’s amazing change of heart – because he clearly deserved that kind of praise – so surely he had to show appreciation of this wonderful happy end. Obviously, the youngest still had no idea what the adults were talking about and any question would be welcomed with panic and the usual ‘we’ll tell you when you’re older’. You can’t tell children that people are gay, Karen. They’re gonna be _scarred for life_.

That explained why Ferdinand hadn’t bothered spending the day with his family. The dinner party would already be one kind of pain, he’d rather spend his time finally back in the Aegir Manor by visiting the stables and some of his favorite horses. He had gladly accepted to accompany his nephew and niece, mostly his niece who was really happy to finally see her uncle again after so many years.

“Oh yeah,” he said as he remembered the lie that had been given to explain his sudden disappearance from family gatherings. “I’m not _travelling_ _overseas_ anymore, that’s right.”

“Please Ferdie, don’t be mad at them. They’re old. They don’t understand.”

He repressed a very cold answer, because age had nothing to do with bigotry but Andrea still couldn’t understand that. He honestly would’ve liked to sit down with her and explain everything that was so very wrong with their family, but it really wasn’t the time. He hoped he could do that later, though he feared that if the word came out, he’d be accused of trying to _convert_ the children or some kind of bullshit.

Honestly, he didn’t care about his reputation anymore. But he cared about the kids and they truly deserved a cool uncle. So he decided he’d try to be subtle about it.

“Anyway, _the_ guy you’re talking about I haven’t seen in quite some time. Also, I do have male friends, you know?”

“Boooo. Boring.”

“My love life is boring, indeed. Thanks for reminding me.”

She pouted a little but didn’t push further. Together, they took care of the horses, brushing their fur, picking their hooves, changing their covers. It was going to be very cold that night after all.

“So who was that guy you were texting?” she still asked.

“A friend from work.”

“A scientist?”

“No, he’s a law teacher. We work together.”

Her eyes shone at that. He wondered about the reason, and thought that it made sense she’d be interested, she was at the right age to think about university. She only had one year and a half of high school left.

“You’re interested in law?” he tried to ask.

“Ah, hum, well I don’t know,” she shrugged, suddenly closing off to him. “It just seems like the easy route, I guess? It opens a lot of doors, all of that...”

Ferdinand nodded, thinking about it. He had never gone through that process, he’d always known what he wanted to be. He dreamt of helping animals, first by being an _animal doctor_ and then years later by making research, studying biodiversity and the terrifying state it was in. He’d slightly changed his path, but he had never actually doubted himself. He couldn’t know how it felt to simply be lost, unable and too young to take such a big decision.

“I think it’s great to be offered possibilities. But I’m probably not the first one to tell you that the best case scenario would be to find something you really care about.”

“Yeah, the teachers say the same.”

“But you still have time! I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“Mmh.”

Andrea clearly didn’t want to talk about it any further. It made sense – she probably had enough of it at school. He remembered that time very clearly even if he hadn’t been that concerned about it, high school really hammered how important that choice was and how quickly you had to decide about your own future. Not only teachers, it was also something you’d end up talking about with your friends, and then your parents would also ask you about it… and now she would surely hear about it again because this was a family party and this was the kind of discussion older people threw at you when they didn’t know how to make conversation. She clearly didn’t need to think about it even more.

So she hadn’t perked up because he was talking about university, but because she really wanted to hear more about him. He didn’t know if it was the right thing to do, but he decided he could indulge her a little. And vent in the process.

“I told you my friend is just that, a friend… but it’s actually a little bit more complicated than that.”

When she heard him, her eyes widened with interest. He refrained a smile. She was so easy to read.

“Complicated?”

“Not Facebook’s kind of ‘complicated’!” She looked at him like he was speaking another language and remembered that kids didn’t use Facebook anymore. “We’ve only talked a few times. And the thing is that I think he’s interested in me even though I’m not.”

“Ah, that sucks.”

“That part is fine, honestly. The problem is…” He winced, now regretting going into this conversation with a teenager girl. “Well, at first I didn’t think he was. I tried convincing myself he wasn’t. And now, we’ve hung out a few times together and I’m scared I gave him the wrong impression. I definitely did, actually. I feel really bad about it.”

She bit her lip, shaking her head while suppressing a laugh.

“Ferdie, you’re awful!” she finally chuckled. “That poor guy! That’s definitely friendzone.”

“...I guess so.”

“Why don’t you just tell him you’re not interested?”

He sighed, now she was really invested and he only hoped she wouldn’t bring that up during dinner that night. He managed to answer most of her questions – at least the least invasive ones – while they finished taking care of the horses and then while they walked back to the big Manor, calling for Theo who had wandered somewhere else.

The Aegir family was well off, and it showed. Not only was the main mansion big enough to welcome about thirty guests, the estate had its own stables, a short walk away from the Manor. That was to be expected coming from the Aegir name, famous for equestrian equipment and a well-known name in the equine world. The family was situated a little far away from the city, right on the border of what you’d call countryside, with a few mansions scattered around.

This one house was the one Ferdinand grew up in. He knew all nooks and crannies of the area, though he’d usually stroll around on his horse. However, no horse here was his own anymore. The poor lady had died of sickness a few years ago, he’d heard. In his heart, he tried to believe it, though he knew well enough about horses dying of loneliness when separated from their masters. Still, he didn’t actually have bad memories regarding this place. He had never truly missed it because God knows how small he cared compared to how much he didn’t miss his father, but there were many things he enjoyed finding back – the scent of grass freshly mowed, the sun turning the house’s walls yellow, the creaking of the wood floors, out of many other little things.

It was late afternoon and the sun was already setting. Meanwhile, his aunts were shuffling in the kitchen, preparing the thousand of dishes that would be eaten that night while already sipping on their glasses of wine. A few children were helping with some menial tasks and one very young cousin pounding some dough let out a ‘OH’ when he saw Ferdinand passing near the kitchen. The whole room turned silent.

He forced a smile. They had been talking about him. Of course they were. However, he broke that awkward silence by asking :

“Do you need help with dinner, aunties?”

“Oh, don’t bother with us Ferdie, we’re fine!”

“Yes, you enjoy the party, we’re welcoming you back after all!”

“Shoo, shoo, go serve yourself a drink, don’t mind us old ladies!”

One more smile and a strongly repressed eye roll later, he was standing in the living room with most of the other men. His brother came to him, asking about the hour or so he spent with Andrea and Theo. This was small talk at best. His brother, while not as bigoted as the rest, had still been very silent about Ferdinand’s fate. Sure he’d been pretty occupied with two children to take care of, and he didn’t have enough room for his little brother in his house, but he could’ve still done something. A little gesture. Some support, when Ferdinand was basically without a home even though he hadn’t finished high school.

Once again, he wondered what he was doing there. Why was he even trying, those people really didn’t deserve any of his time. He was fine being without any family. He had missed watching his nephews and nieces grow, but seeing pictures on Facebook was better than this pity party. All those self-congratulating pricks were so happy to pretend they were ‘modern’ just because they could tell you what the letters in LGBT referred to while trying to argue that bisexuality was a myth. And he preferred not to talk about their very strong opinions on religions that weren’t their own.

He felt so tired after just an hour of standing there and pretending he was having a good time. The silver lining in all of this was that he wouldn’t stay the whole week leading to the New Years party. He was only there for Christmas and would go home afterwards.

He finally found a nice way to spend the evening, which was to make his father extremely happy by hanging out with his special guest – Charles du Pointillet. The other man was probably twenty years older than Ferdinand, short curly hair already turning grey, slicked back but with no baldness in view. Meanwhile, Ferdinand shuddered every time he saw how light reflected on his father’s head.

Charles was clearly here on vacation, staying in one of the houses that was five minutes away by foot, closer to the village. That’s why he was pretty relaxed, asking him about his job and then sharing some college stories of his own. They were chatting about the last dressage championship when Ludwig came to them, patting his son’s shoulder.

“I see you finally met,” he chuckled, nicely acting as the proud dad. “He’s my son but he decided he’d rather fly on his own, so please do not worry him with business talk, hm?”

Charles shook his head and laughed, waving his wine glass around.

“That’s not a problem, we were talking sports.”

“Oh yes, Ferdinand surely is a great rider himself. You went to the stables this afternoon, right?”

He repressed a disgusted look at the hand that was still on his shoulder, clawing at his jacket like a threat, _don’t you dare escape_.

“Yes, though I did not ride. I just watched over the children.”

“That’s a shame. I guess you’ll have all the time you need tomorrow. It should be sunny and you do know how beautiful the lake gets in the early winter mornings.”

Ferdinand almost wanted to answer that he wouldn’t, he was leaving first thing in the morning. However, Charles perked up at that, clearly interested in the sight Ludwig was gushing about. His father’s smile got wider.

“Why don’t you go together then? Ferdinand knows these lands by heart, he’s been riding around as soon as he got on a horseback.”

Charles nodded, not even asking if that was alright with Ferdinand. There was no reason why it shouldn't be. It was a holiday week and he was an esteemed guest. Of course Ferdinand would be there. Ludwig didn’t ask either, turning on his heels and leaving to check on his older sister – the one Ferdinand had always hated, she always had something to nitpick about him, his clothes, his table manners, and he honestly didn’t need her opinion on his now mid back long hair.

He waited a few minutes, watching that bald head like a hawk, before he excused himself to Charles to corner Ludwig and give him a piece of his mind. Of course, the older man only gave him a contemptuous eyeful but there were too many guests for him to show his true colors.

“I seem to remember telling you I couldn’t stay for more than a day,” he said, barely hiding his annoyance. Not that it convinced Ludwig.

“This is just one more morning, Ferdinand, do not be a child.”

“You have no right to decide my schedule!” he whispered, now slowly getting mad. “And you could ask anyone else to go with him!”

Ludwig sighed, putting down his drink. When he turned back to Ferdinand, his stare had turned cold.

“He wants to go with you. And I will not let you do anything that would upset him, do you hear me?” Ludwig once again put his hand on his shoulder, forcing his son to lower his head. “Stop being selfish, for once in your life.”

Ferdinand was left speechless, utterly incapable of any comeback. He thought he’d heard it all. But no, here he was, his father implying that him loving men was _selfish_. Like he was a petulant child, asking for ice cream. Like the last seven years had been a _tantrum_.

He really wanted to storm out of that party, go back home, forget about everything that had just happened. However, it was Christmas night, he was hundreds of kilometers away from home. He didn’t have a choice. It pained him to do so but he nodded while clenching his jaw, barely hiding his shaking shoulders. He immediately left the room to take a long, long walk in the hope it would clear his head of all the insults he wanted to hurl at anyone who would dare cross his way.

He ended up in a quiet part of the house, the little corridor between the bathroom and an old room where the window was low near the ground and didn’t close well. The fresh air helped him slowly breathe out all of his anger, and after a while he just decided to sit, ready to spend the whole evening hidden right there. He took out his phone, opening the window to catch a little bit of wind, and saw Hubert’s message, again.

This was terrible, he thought with a long, desperate sigh. Not just this party, but also this situation with his coworker. What did he expect when he decided to play Hubert’s game? Why did he go to the trial and why did he ask him out for lunch? What was he trying to prove? That a friendship between them couldn’t work? That Hubert would never ever be interested?

Well that was just his luck. Lunch had been wonderful.

Truly, he hadn’t expected that at all. Their chat had been very pleasant once stripped out of their usual wry comments. They had talked about many things that weren’t even work related. They hadn’t really gotten personal but they had gone past small talk and formalities. Hubert had seemed to enjoy himself too. And Ferdinand would never admit it, but the way the lawyer reacted when he was truly taken aback, his eyes widening and his voice subtly going higher – it was excessively charming.

And now, Hubert was sending him his wishes. He had thought about him during Christmas night. Ferdinand was all red just thinking about it, but he still thanked him. It wasn’t like he would receive an answer right now, or ever, anyway.

He decided to do the same. He went down his list of contacts and sent a few messages, some of them replying immediately with far too many typos to be the job of someone sober, a lot of them taking a few minutes to reply. One of them made him chuckle with his answer. It was Claude, a high school friend, who just answered with a picture of him in an ugly sweater, clearly bored out of his mind while watching _Home Alone_ on TV, with the following texts :

Claude  
  
**Today** 10:21 PM  
Merry Christmas!!  
**Today** 10:33 PM  
[img.01]()  
trust me i’d like to say the same  
but i cant  
i miss my dad's place  
  


Ferdinand smiled softly. He’d heard Claude complain a lot about his childhood of being torn apart between two countries, two families, two parts of himself. But there were also times when the balance would fall, and one part would suddenly feel more appealing than the other. Clearly it was one of those days.

Claude  
  
Haha I don't.  
  
? wdym  
  
I'm home.  
  
Like, Manor home.  
  
?????  
  


Claude immediately called him. It made sense, there was no one who knew more about Ferdinand’s disastrous coming out and the fallout that came after.

Having your driving license and a car at seventeen in the countryside was basically becoming the designated driver for everyone, for every party. Luckily, Claude barely drank and he lived less than thirty minutes away from Ferdinand’s, so he drove him back from parties almost all the time, sometimes staying an hour or so in the car, parked somewhere private, just to smoke a little in peace and bitch about school.

They were finishing high school, it was around the middle of spring, and he had just learnt that Claude was gay. At that time, though, Ferdinand supposedly wasn’t. He used to be so deep inside the closet, he knew he’d have to come out one day but he kept pushing back that moment – it never was the right time.

But something changed that night. Ferdinand was tipsy and lonely and scared of himself, and he asked Claude if he wanted to come to his room. He insisted it was just because he wanted to try Claude’s shisha outside of the car. He wasn’t like that, he kept saying, as later that night he was out of his boxers and humping a very conveniently placed thigh, moaning in his friend’s mouth. It was just to see his father’s face decomposing, discovering who his son really was, finally after all these years of Ferdinand lying through his teeth and now unabashedly moaning while pounding his hips against his friend’s ass.

And oh, what a face Ludwig made, when he opened the door that morning, not only to find drugs but also his very naked son sleeping in the arms of another very naked _brown man_. Too bad he didn’t find that very funny. Nor endearing. Nor anything coming close to a positive sentiment. He just started throwing his son’s belongings out of the window, telling him to leave his sight and never come back, all the while calling for God and asking Him why, _why_.

Claude felt guilty after that, obviously. He offered Ferdinand to stay in his house until things calmed down. One of Claude’s mothers, Judith, tried to talk to Ludwig but to no effect. In the end, Ferdinand spent his last months of school in the Riegan house, everyone looking at him in a mix of disgust and pity. But at least Claude had been there. At least.

Now, with the years the two had grown apart a little bit, as it often happened. They never even dated. Ferdinand decided to leave for the capital while Claude kept going in and out of the country. One day, as they were having a drink because Claude was passing by, he had told Ferdinand he admired him and his unyielding perseverance. It was a lot, coming from someone so friendly but who often kept his feelings for himself, hidden behind a mask, excellent at reading people but not at opening himself.

...or so he thought. Because that day in high school, Claude had probably been feeling too guilty to be angry. And now, seven years later, he was clearly furious.

 _“This son of a bitch, sorry to your grandma, but dude, I mean if it was me I wouldn’t have trusted him one second but still! The audacity!”_ Ferdinand heard him through his phone, visibly walking out of his house to not bother the movie night going on. He heard him open a door and close it behind him, his voice becoming clearer. “ _You know you don’t have to do shit for him, right? Who cares about that guy, just go home tomorrow.”_

“I mean, I don’t mind going on a ride, it should be fun. I’m just frustrated. He keeps playing with me, and now I feel like it’s only going to be worse. I can ignore him as long as I want, he knows where I work and will make another scene if he needs to. Everyone thinks he’s the perfect little father, forgiving his son, no one in my family would take his side if things really went south between the two of us.”

_“South? What do you mean?”_

“Like…” He tried to find his words for a second, but decided to just be upfront about it. “Kicking him right in the nuts the next time I see him in a place where there would be no witnesses. And maybe punch a few teeth out of him.”

Claude exploded into barking laughs, clearly not expecting that. Ferdinand tried to not follow the infectious laughter, he didn’t want anyone to find him, but he still giggled at the thought.

_“Oh man I’d pay to see that.”_

“That won’t be for tonight though, sorry. Too many people ready to throw me into the lake. I’m already fearing spending the night, the only thing that’s missing is a crazy attendant telling me to get out.”

_“You didn’t have anyone to go with? It would’ve been easier for you. And funnier, just imagine their faces if you came with a boyfriend.”_

He snorted, barely hiding the sound behind his fist.

“If only. But no can do.”

_“Aww. I could play your boyfriend if you want. It would bring nice memories to Daddy Aegir.”_

“Oh god, it would be perfect,” he sighed happily, just imagining it. It would really be the ultimate middle finger to his father, all the while doing exactly was he’d been asked – being the gay son.

 _“...Ferdinand,”_ he heard through his fantasies of Ludwig turning purple in anger.

“Hm?”

_“Do you actually want me to come?”_

That made him blink.

“What?” he muttered, almost unsure of what he’d just heard.

_“I’d love to piss off your dad on Christmas. I’m not kidding.”_

His heart started beating very hard and a smile creeped up his lips. Oh yes, that would be the best Christmas present ever, Claude coming back to the Aegir Mansion, acting as his boyfriend. The realization on his father’s face, as he remembered who exactly Claude was, would be delightful. And this time, he couldn’t get thrown out of the house.

“Don’t you have a boyfriend…?” he still replied, not wanting his friend to actually leave his own Christmas party just to indulge him.

_“Oh he won’t mind. And I’m not sleeping with you this time, sorry Ferdie, there’s only room for one white guy in my life.”_

He could now hear Claude shuffling around, zipping something, probably a jacket, and the jingling of car keys.

“Oh my god,” he started laughing, because he still couldn’t believe it. “Really, you don’t have to do that.”

_“I know. But I will. I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”_

“No, really–”

Claude hung up. Ferdinand then tried to hide his smile behind his phone, even though he was alone. He was giddy, just thinking about the incoming storm. 

Well, he had a good reason to stay now.

* * *

Dorothea had her head turned to the ceiling, desperately trying to stop the tears of laughter that were escaping from her eyes and ruining her makeup. Meanwhile, Ingrid clearly didn’t care, face down on the bar’s counter while holding her stomach and still lost in her hysterical giggles.

“Oh that’s too good, Ferdie, _so good_.” She tried to catch her breath, tucking blond locks behind her ear. “So how did it go?”

“Terribly. I think my father did change colors.” He chugged the rest of his shot, before slowly adding with a smirk. “...when he saw Claude grabbing my ass.”

“Please stop!!” Dorothea begged before she fell forward in a new fit of giggles, clearly giving up on her makeup.

The three of them had decided to spend New Year together. And while the two girls had already gotten their fair amount of alcohol for Christmas, Ferdinand had begged them to not let him get wasted alone. He really needed the support after the shitshow that had been his own Christmas night.

Thankfully, Dorothea never passed on an opportunity to drink especially if he offered to pay, and Ingrid had nothing else to do. That’s how they found themselves touring bars, already past tipsy even though it wasn’t 11PM yet.

“We have to meet him now. Damn, I want to shake his hand, I’ll even suck his dick if he wants me to, he’s my hero.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, but yeah, clearly,” Ingrid nodded, wiping the corner of her eye and moving Dorothea’s glass away from her.

“He’s a great guy,” he agreed with a soft smile. “I’ll text him later, I still need to thank him for what he’s done. He really saved me there.”

“From what you’re telling me he enjoyed every second of it,” Dorothea said with a wink, taking back her glass and chugging the rest of her drink. “I think I’m done. Are we moving?”

“Sure,” Ferdinand said, taking his wallet and leaving a few coins on the counter as a tip. “You’re fine coming with me? It’s a uni party, I’m just meeting with a few classmates.”

Ingrid shrugged, “As long as there’s music and drinks.”

“And we want to meet lawyer guy,” Dorothea reminded him.

He sighed while putting on his coat and scarf, hardly hiding his pink cheeks behind the wool, “He probably won’t be there, don’t get your hopes up. That’s not really his kind of scene, you know.”

“We’ll just see.”

And it probably was karma, because the first person he saw when they finally entered the club was a short girl with platinum blonde hair next to a way taller, older man, looking bored out of his mind. Dorothea noticed the direction of his stare and immediately cackled, sliding her arm around his.

“Are you going to introduce us to your friends, Ferdie?”

He grumbled an answer, Ingrid hiding her smile behind her closed fist, and led them to Edelgard and Hubert. She blinked in surprise when she caught sight of him – probably because Dorothea was still stuck to his side – and discreetly punched the lawyer’s arm. Hubert turned around but didn’t show anything, though his mask of faked boredom went away.

“Happy new year! I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

“And with company nonetheless,” her companion added in a low voice, one side of his mouth curved up.

Ferdinand sent an unamused look to Hubert, before actually introducing the two women as his friends and coworkers. They were in the lobby, which meant the music was just some white noise, though the crowd made it difficult to get comfortable. However, he could feel just by putting his hand on the wall that they were just next to the dancefloor and its blaring music, and while the gaudy purple and black decoration would surely look better in a room with less light, they were fine staying there and chatting.

Finally, Dorothea freed him from her grasp and asked Edelgard to show her where to find drinks, Ingrid tagging along and leaving the two men behind with a well placed slap on Ferdinand’s back. He glared at his friends even if they couldn’t see it, because he really didn’t need Hubert asking him what all of this was about. Luckily for him, he didn’t seem to care enough and just took a sip of wine.

“Is it good?” Ferdinand asked, trying to take control of the conversation as soon as he could. When Hubert raised an eyebrow, the kind that seemed to judge his intelligence, he got his answer. “That bad?”

“It’s cheap wine.”

“Can I at least try?”

“Oh, please.” Hubert forced the cup in his hand. “Take it as a late Christmas gift.”

He tried some and didn’t even try to hide his disgust. Really, while he’d give everything to never ever spend another Christmas at the Aegir Manor, the wine had at least been good. Still, he kept it, he had worse in his first college years. “How were your holidays?”

Hubert leaned back against the wall with a sigh, though he had a little smile while doing so, “Extremely ordinary. I met with some of my extended family. One cousin managed to set fire to the tablecloth while lighting the menorah, but that’s also as ordinary as it always gets.”

Ferdinand exhaled a laugh, trying to picture Hubert in the middle of a family reunion, sitting at a table surrounded by children and making chit-chat over plates and plates of food. He didn’t succeed.

“Hmm. I would’ve been fine with ordinary myself,” he muttered, and when he saw his coworker raise an inquisitive eyebrow he explained : “First time I spent Christmas with my father in years. It wasn’t fun.”

“Oh?”

Ferdinand laughed and shook his head lightly, taking a sip of his drink before clearing his throat and answering :

“This is something I’d rather not talk about around a cup of cheap wine, but more like the bottom of a tequila bottle.”

Hubert snorted.

“That’s fair. I have my good share of father stories myself.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t have to worry about him inviting himself to holiday parties anymore, though.” Hubert gave him a look from behind his dark locks, his smile turning dark. “Him dying in prison helped.”

That made him almost spit out his drink. He tried to hide his uncontrollable chuckles behind his hand to no avail, too drunk after their round of shots and also his soft spot for dark humor.

“Now I’m curious!”

“On a less festive day, maybe.”

Ferdinand tried to repress the tingly feeling he was getting, having one more easy conversation with Hubert. He had feared it wouldn’t happen again after their lunch and he shouldn’t have. There was something about Hubert that really attracted him. He liked how open and straightforward he was – when he wasn’t looking at him like he was about to murder him. And that look he got when someone laughed at a sinister joke of his, Ferdinand would almost call it endearing.

The girls finally came back with drinks, cutting into their conversation. From the corner of his eye, Ferdinand saw that Dorothea was asking way too many questions to Hubert who didn’t seem very interested in answering her, but Edelgard told him something and he completely forgot about them. After a while, they decided it was time to dance and they left Edelgard and Hubert in the lobby. As soon as they were out of earshot, Dorothea went back to holding his arm against her chest, pretending it was just to not be separated by the crowd, and whispered in his ear : “Did you guys fuck already or something?”

He startled, immediately feeling his cheeks turning red.

“What the– why are you asking that?!”

“You cannot see it? The way he looks at you? Come on, Ferdie!”

“You weren’t kidding,” Ingrid said. “He does look at you all the time.”

“So what? I’m still not interested!”

His friends looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Finally, they managed to navigate through the crowd and get to the dance floor, which meant Ferdinand didn’t have to hear about their opinions on his love life anymore. He rolled his sleeves, finished his cup of disgusting wine. And then he stopped thinking.

About thirty minutes later, a cheery Edelgard joined them. Meanwhile, Dorothea had gone on her own to another part of the club and one of Ferdinand’s friends had joined them too. Having another guy around gave him the opportunity to go take a breather. Clearly, Edelgard would be able to kick anyone’s ass without breaking a sweat, but sadly, having a man in the group was the best way to avoid assholes.

He maneuvered through the crowd one more time, buying another drink in the process, and then found himself on the side where Hubert and Byleth were standing. She had spent most of the evening with her family and had just arrived. It felt pretty strange for him to see someone who had once been his teacher in this kind of place, but he was too drunk to really care.

Luckily for him, he wasn’t drunk _enough_ to ask Hubert if he was going to dance. Really, just looking at him, arms crossed and back against the wall, the answer was quite obvious. He got lost along the way, finally taking time to look at the other man’s outfit, always clad in dark as if he was scared to be tainted by any color. And yet Ferdinand clearly enjoyed the sight, the hair that had managed to stay combed back, the few open buttons, the very fitting pair of jeans––

He quickly brought his eyes back up and felt compelled to say something, just to forget that he had spent five long seconds staring at the other man’s crotch. He didn’t think much when he put his hand on the taller man’s shoulder, getting closer to his ear and hoping his words would cross over the blaring music :

“Did Dorothea tell you something?”

A look at Hubert’s face told him he didn’t know what he was talking about. He didn’t answer, visibly fine with a type of communication that wouldn’t break his voice.

“You seemed upset,” Ferdinand explained, his tone lowering as he searched for something else to say. He didn’t know if Hubert heard him but he frowned a little and directed his gaze to the hand that was still on his shoulder. Ferdinand quickly removed it, “Sorry!”

“It’s fine,” he mouthed, the sound hidden behind the blaring electronic music. Hubert was now watching him in silence, as if he was looking for something. He finally turned his head, so that his lips were just a shy from brushing the TA’s ear : “She’s lovely.”

That made him pause. Ferdinand had been scared Dorothea had been too straightforward with Hubert, maybe a little bit intrusive. He knew she’d never do anything like this while sober, but after a few shots, who knows. Relieved to hear she hadn’t done or said anything she would regret, a large smile took over his face and he yelled over the music.

“She is! God, I love her.”

And he wished he could’ve missed the look Hubert sent him upon hearing this. Eyebrows lowered, squinty eyes, shoulders squaring like he was taking his distances. It didn’t take long to realize what he’d just said.

“As a friend! She’s my friend! A very good friend!”

“Ah?”

Hubert was still looking at him with something akin to cold distance, he’d even dare to call it wariness. Ferdinand immediately hated that. He liked being friends with Hubert. He liked the way their relationship was going, as fucked up as it truly was. Too bad his tongue took over his brain, and the best answer he could think of turned out to be :

“I’m very gay.”

Of course that was the moment when the music started to fade. Hubert’s eyebrows shot up. Byleth silently choked on her drink and that’s when Ferdinand remembered she was still there, unwilling witness to this mess of a conversation. Meanwhile, he could feel his cheeks heating up and not because of the alcohol. His mouth was opening and closing, blood pulsing in his forehead with every beat of the music.

He chose to just chug down whatever remained in his cup and then he announced he was going to the bathroom, or outside, or maybe he said nothing and just left, who knows. He did run to the toilets, relieved to find them empty, and leaned over the sink while gripping the porcelain border.

His head was pounding, he could still hear the basses’ vibration through the walls. He closed his eyes, tried to slowly breathe, in, out, stay calm, just go over what had just happened. That was easily done. He couldn’t act oblivious anymore. He had tried to repress the thought many times, because that was way too ridiculous of an idea. But now? Now he had to face it.

Hubert Vestra liked looking at him from afar. Hubert Vestra had seemed embarrassed when he visited him in court. Hubert Vestra sometimes smiled at him like he smiled at no one, not even Edelgard. Hubert thought Dorothea was his girlfriend, and had been _upset_.

Maybe he’d think about it again when he’d be sober and realize he was overreacting, but at this moment he just felt like his mind was blowing up. Hubert Vestra was attracted to him. And Ferdinand liked it, of course he did.

What was he going to do?

He didn’t find any answer. Not while hidden in the bathroom. Not later when he went back to dancing with Ingrid, not answering any of her questioning faces. Not after the new year countdown, all the hugs and kisses, while he was awkwardly shaking Hubert’s hand.

It was around 3AM when he went home, walking along the river with Dorothea. At one point, he stopped in his tracks to stare at a couple shuffling back home, tripping on their own feet. The girl was giggling, her long bright hair all fluffy around her, while her boyfriend, so much taller than her, just kept his hold on her hand and pulled her along.

It was a cold January night, his breath making fog, and for the first time in years he wanted to smoke something. He let out a long sigh and felt Dorothea cuddling up against him for warmth while she was answering texts. He mumbled :

“Dorothy.”

“Hm?”

“I’m fucked.”

She slowly blinked, pretty much sleeping on her feet. She still answered :

“What happened?”

“He thought you were my girlfriend. That’s what he was mad about.”

“I know,” she laughed. “So childish.”

“What am I going to do?”

“Fuck him.”

“...as in ‘he can go to hell’ or...?”

“Dunno, your choice.”

He slowly sighed, turning his head to the night sky. There were barely any stars, well hidden behind the clouds. He couldn’t feel his hands anymore, and his hair tucked into his scarf was tickling his throat.

“You’re no help at all.”

“Shut up and let’s go home, Ferdie.”

Then it was 4AM. Ferdinand was lying in his bed, alone, and he couldn’t sleep. It was a new year, he was supposed to make decisions, give himself some goals and try to follow them, start a new year with a fresh mind.

Maybe he could try dating again. He remembered Claude telling him that it was fine waiting and hoping for someone special, but there was nothing bad in indulging himself at times. He remembered his father looking at him with disgust, telling him he was nothing but a selfish kid. He remembered Dorothea, sleepy against him, telling him to shut up.

So he did. He decided that he wasn’t going to listen to the voice in his head anymore, the one telling him he didn’t deserve anything, that he shouldn’t believe anyone could sincerely be interested in him.

He could feel his bed rolling under him like he was on a boat, his head heavy on the pillow, the music still loud in his ears. He closed his eyes. And finally gave in, his hand slipping under his boxer as he thought of a thin smile and green eyes shining under the colored lights.

**To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that one clumsy cousin Hubert is talking about is Annette. I don’t know why, the idea just makes me very happy. Just like jewish Hubert. He’s got no faith obviously, it’s part of the character to be an atheist, but we all know celebrations have nothing to do with faith anymore for most people.
> 
> A lot of the "Aegir family reunion" stuff is inspired from my own family lol Luckily not the big homophobic part (though I know some of my family I barely know is like that so I still hear a lot of stuff), but the "rich family with houses all over the area and people who are all about how important Christmas is but barely go to church" is pretty much that (I didn't say much about it tho since I know nothing about religion). Also the aunts in the kitchen sipping wine. And since my mom kinda said fuck off to everyone to live her rock'n'roll dreams and live in the capital and never got married... I couldn't help but instill a little bit of her own experience in Ferdie's POV. Just FYI.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, all the love to my sweet beta [@GaikotsuRamen](https://twitter.com/GaikotsuRamen)!!!

An annoyed groan escaped him. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t even realize it.

It was this damn pencil. This insufferable pencil, pressed against Ferdinand’s lower lip, sometimes slipping to the corner of his mouth. The wooden tip now had a tiny shiny spot which was unsanitary and disgusting, almost as much as the pink tongue that appeared now and then to humidify the swollen skin.

Hubert was trying to not look. Some of his students had their gaze lost in the exam room, as if they had already given up on life and were waiting for some kind of god to free them. What if they saw him staring at the man sitting in the chair next to his own, here to monitor the exams but also fully invested in his own tests to mark? They would surely notice the way he gulped when the biology TA was biting the inside of his cheek, softly frowning as he crossed out something on the page in front of him.

He finally managed to force himself to look away and get up from his chair. It was easier to just focus on the crowd of students, all of them trying to make sense of their exam while he was going back and forth on the auditorium’s platform. Arms crossed, brows furrowed, he looked like he was about to give them a severe sermon – and it was pretty amusing seeing a few heads looking at the clock with worry. The smile that was about to take over Hubert’s face died, however, because he suddenly felt a hand against his shoulder and a breath against his ear, followed by a whisper :

“Bathroom break, I’ll be back soon.”

Hubert froze, big eyes watching Ferdinand trotting his way up the stairs, his steps soft so he wouldn’t bother the students. One sitting in the front and near the aisle actually turned around, his eyes following the TA’s legs while mouthing something that looked very close to a _woah_. He turned back, catching his teacher’s stare, but didn’t look away. He just made an appreciative face while lifting his thumb.

Hubert didn’t reply. He went back to pacing around, all the while trying to shoo the thought that had now invaded his head.

_Why are his thighs so damn big?_

* * *

“Horse riding.”

Hubert lifted his head and found Byleth staring at him. Did he actually ask that out loud?

“...well, that makes sense,” he answered before turning back to his coffee cup, as if they were having a normal conversation.

Hubert was done with his classes’ exams of the day and was spending a well deserved coffee break with Byleth, chatting about mundane things like how cold it was, the disgusting taste of their drinks, or their tricks to not fall asleep while monitoring exams. At one point however, Ferdinand walked past them, almost running in the direction of the faculty room. And that inquiry escaped his mouth.

“I heard you two got closer,” Byleth said while putting coins inside the drink machine, clearly not even trying to be subtle about the new conversation topic. Hubert almost rolled his eyes.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know why.”

“I’m not. I’m just surprised.” Byleth pushed the button for some tea. “I wasn’t expecting you to care.”

“I don’t.”

“But you’ve become his friend?”

“I have no reason to refuse.”

Obviously, Byleth wasn’t really shaken by his menacing tone. She was a better actor than he was and that was the reason why it had taken quite a lot of time for him to trust her. But he still didn’t want to discuss this with her, or else it would inevitably reach Edelgard’s ears. She took her steaming cup and turned towards him.

“I heard your conversation during New Year, do you remember that? That seemed like a very good reason to refuse.”

Hubert’s plans had not changed at all. It had been a week or so since he decided to play Ferdinand’s game and up until now it hadn’t been very life changing. Hubert had tried to push his buttons, sending a message on Christmas and chatting with his friends on New Year. He had even tried to compliment one of them, hoping for some kind of reaction, maybe jealousy. That had backfired a little bit.

“I mostly remember him being drunk.”

“And very honest.”

“So?”

She finally rolled her eyes, drinking a little bit, and then slowly explaining like she would to a child :

“So Hubert, what are your intentions towards my TA?”

And he wished he could have answered immediately. He wished he could have looked at her in the eyes and told her there was nothing to be done, because there was nothing to be found.

But he knew how wrong all of that was, although he didn’t want to admit it. He knew how terrible it was to play friends with someone who was pretty clearly making advances and hoping for more. Especially someone as genuine as Ferdinand – all blushes and side smiles, bright determined eyes and unwavering voice.

Hubert couldn’t help it. He wanted Ferdinand to say it out loud. He was sure Edelgard would say he only wished for a proof that he was worth the interest, that he was more than he led people to believe. But that was too far-fetched. He wasn’t actually that desperate, he surely didn’t feel like so.

“He wants to be my friend so why should I refuse? He’s good company. The rest doesn’t concern me.”

None of it mattered right now. Real life wasn’t kind and he simply had no time for those frivolities now that January was starting. He would soon go back to their little silly game, he would take some time to think about it and what boundaries he needed to lay, but only when midterms and his current trial were over. He didn’t have time for this kind of distraction.

Too bad he was slowly coming to understand that Ferdinand, even with his mouth closed, could easily be one.

Byleth was clearly not convinced but she dropped the subject when Ferdinand appeared once again, pushing a cart with boxes and boxes of test sheets. They watched him as he crossed the corridor in the direction of another class he needed to monitor. He remembered why his question had popped out of his mouth. Ferdinand’s pants were ridiculously tight.

He heard Byleth clearing her throat and he saw her looking at him with something akin to disappointment. He just swiftly turned and walked away without saying goodbye, not acknowledging that his gaze had once again zoomed on the lower parts of his coworker. She didn't need to know that part. She already knew too much. He tried to think of something else, empty his brain of all those distracting shapes.

He threw his head back to finish his coffee cup, openly wincing at the disgusting taste.

* * *

Hubert was tired.

He was used to sleep deprivation. He had been a student once, pouring nights and nights over essays. Coffee had become his best friend around him hitting seventeen. He now had two very consuming jobs. He was not new to this.

However, he never had to also deal with so many unnecessary feelings. He wasn’t very familiar with this fatigue he was feeling. Sure, he’d had nights of crippling anxiety over his best friend’s well being, followed by days of lethargy. But here, it wasn’t even the same. Sometimes his days were going just fine and one little thing was enough to cut his breath short, to make him want to go home and not see anyone for at least 48 hours.

The culprit was right in front of his eyes too. Sitting on one of the library beanbags, leaning over a book he had open next to him on the floor and straightening up while turning to the computer on his knees. His head kept moving around, exposing his neck and letting his braid slip over his shoulder. Hubert had never seen his hair done that way. And sure, he usually didn’t care about details like that, but he could see that Ferdinand himself wasn’t used to it. He kept tucking shorter locks behind his ear, as well as bringing the braid back to his back, where it wouldn’t bother him.

It was simply ridiculous. This was the kind of thing high schoolers did to get their crush’s attention. Surely Ferdinand couldn’t be that childish. And sure, you could argue that it _did_ catch Hubert’s attention, but that wasn’t the point.

Hubert was here to finish his work. He was tired and it was cold in the entire building thanks to the heating system breaking down earlier this morning. He had exams to grade. He had files to read and notes to take. But he couldn’t stop staring at the bright orange wave rolling over a shoulder, the large tan hand that would slide it away and the shiny skin underneath.

He almost wanted to get up and walk up to Ferdinand, tell him to put his hair in his usual ponytail and stop fidgeting like a schoolgirl. He wanted to tell him to focus on his thesis while Hubert redid the braid for him because yes, he knew how to tie them, he had played hairdresser with Edelgard when they were children, and he honestly was curious to see if Ferdinand’s hair was as soft as it looked.

This thought was the last straw. He finally stood up but only to put all of his work away and retrieve his coat. He was cold and distracted. He also wanted coffee. Lots of coffee. He didn’t direct one look to the TA while he was leaving the library, he didn’t throw one glance back, nor stopped in his tracks as soon as he got near the entrance.

His shoulders relaxed a little when he heard a familiar voice calling him. He sniffled and nodded to Mercedes who was also going home now that her shift at the library was over. She told him he should put his coat on while he was outside, because it was surely going to rain or snow today and he realized he had forgotten his scarf at the library. He decided he’d get it the next day, he’d survive without it.

But then a thought crossed his mind. He almost stopped in his tracks, while letting his eyes fall on the younger woman’s neck, barely showing behind her scarf and large beanie.

“I need to ask you something strange,” he said. She blinked and then nodded. “...why did you cut your hair?”

She gave him a look, as if she didn’t know if he was joking around or seriously out of character.

“Do you mean two years ago?” He acquiesced. “I just wanted to try...”

“... I see.”

Mercedes asked him if he was ok, and then watched him quickly evade the question all the while opening his car and saying goodbye. He tried not to think about it while driving home. He refused to acknowledge how shameful he felt for acting this way, playing right into Ferdinand’s palm. The TA knew what he was doing, he had to know.

The next morning, after only two hours of sleep and too many coffee mugs on his desk, Hubert saw his ugly reflection in the mirror, felt the bad taste in his mouth, but his darkened eyes only flicked to his hair. He didn’t even think about it, he passed a hand through the thick curly locks and wondered if he was always so unkept, if he should maybe cut them a little bit, gel them back, just one side––

He stopped his hand, eyes wide in horror.

He was so tired.

* * *

Ferdinand had great hair. That was just a fact. Anyone could see that, even Hubert. He didn’t have to feel guilty about this thought. 

Also, not entirely unrelated : Hubert was sick as a dog.

He had been under the weather for a few days already and he felt a little better knowing most of it had just been a brewing fever. Sure, having a cold during midterms and the last week of his goddamn trial wasn’t the best case scenario, but he knew he’d be able to power through it. As long as he got coffee and nothing to disturb him, he’d manage to finish that week and finally enjoy a little winter holiday. Now if only Ferdinand Aegir wasn’t so insistent on following him around especially with his hair completely undone, flying around him, perfectly framing his oval face, stray hair catching the corner of his lips – surely Hubert could have survived this one day in the university halls now that he had finished marking his class’ exams. But life wasn’t fair like that.

Luckily, Ferdinand had yet to notice that Hubert’s face was bleaker than usual and that he discreetly blew his nose every now and then. He was too busy listening to Linhardt, the university’s biochemistry teacher, and his soliloquy about the stupidity of five-days work weeks.

“So you’re just going to stay at home for the entire vacation week? You have no plans at all?” Ferdinand repeated, truly taken aback by his coworker’s statement.

“ ... Well yeah,” Linhardt answered, dead-pan. “Where do you want me to go?”

“How should I know?” he stuttered a little, his ears slowly reddening while he stabbed some of his lunchbox’ pasta.

“Cool, me neither. Resting is good. You two should learn that.”

Hubert lifted an eyebrow, surprised to suddenly be included in the conversation. He was just sitting there in the cafeteria while waiting for Edelgard to finish her own exam. He didn’t know how he got here at the same table as those nerdy science guys, and he didn’t even care, his ears were buzzing and he really wanted to dive his entire head in a bucket of nyquil.

“I plan to rest,” he simply said while keeping his tone low so he wouldn’t start to cough, drinking what must’ve been his fourth coffee of the day and it wasn’t even noon.

“Oh, your trial is ending tomorrow right?” Ferdinand asked between two forkfuls, and Hubert nodded. “Did it go well?”

“What do you think?”

Ferdinand shrugged one shoulder, clearly unimpressed. “You never know.”

Luckily, Linhardt quickly went back to their original topic.

“So you’re the only one who’s not gonna rest during winter holidays,” he pointed out. “See? You’re the weird one.”

“I have no vacations, first of all. I do have two jobs,” he said, waving his fork at his coworker.

“So do I,” Hubert mumbled, feeling himself sagging into his seat.

“...second of all, if I had time I wouldn’t waste it lazing around. Life’s too short for that.”

“Your workaholic life is definitely going to be shorter than mine yeah,” Linhardt mumbled.

That earned him a barking laugh. “Well, as long as it’s not as short as Hubert’s!”

Ah. So he did notice. Ferdinand frowned a little, turning back to the older man and his voice lowering to a somewhat worried tone. “You look like death, you should be home right now.”

“Mmh,” he answered, nose buried in his coffee mug.

“Don’t ignore me! Hubert,” he said while lowering his fork, suddenly forgetting his lunch. “Edelgard will be fine going home without you and we’re still having heating problems in this building. Go home.”

Hubert put his drink down, suppressing a shiver and concentrating on his eyelids, just to keep them open. It took him a few seconds. When he finally found his way out of his feverish daze, he discovered that the two other men were disapprovingly staring at him. He didn’t care, though. He went to the first thing that came to his mind.

“I heard,” Hubert said, turning to Ferdinand. “That you like to ride.”

Ferdinand almost dropped his fork. He stared at Hubert, wide-eyed, his face slowly turning cherry red. Yeah, trusting his mind had been a bad idea.

“...horse ride. I meant horse ride.”

“Oh.” A cough. “Well.” He licked his lips, tucked a lock of hair behind his ear, clearly not looking at Hubert anymore. “Sure, I’ve been around horses my entire childhood. I’d love to have more time to ride– huh, horse ride again.”

“I’ve never tried.”

“Really? Would you want to?” He glanced at Hubert before going back to his lunch, his ears slowly getting back to their normal color. “I mean, if you’re interested I’d gladly show you…”

“If we had the time, sure.”

“Oh yeah. Time. Haha.”

Linhardt just watched the exchange with an extremely tired look, but didn’t butt in. At one point he turned to wave at Mercedes who slid in the chair next to him. She beamed at the other two men.

“Hello you two.” She smiled at Hubert, and then turned to Ferdinand. “No braid today?”

Hubert finally closed his eyes. He was so, so tired.

* * *

Edelgard   
  
**Today** 4:34 PM   
Mercedes found your scarf.   
  
You really shouldn’t have gone out without it.   
  
I gave your address to Ferdinand, he’s coming to bring it to you.   
  


Hubert jumped on his feet, eyes wide and heart beating way too loudly. He quickly answered :

Edelgard   
  
Why?   
  
I heard you were on a first name basis with him. You’re friends, so what’s the matter?   
  


He gritted his teeth, but didn’t argue further. So she was mad he hadn’t told her about all of this. He should’ve seen this coming.

Still, that didn’t resolve his problem, which was that his apartment was a mess of papers, used tissues, stray water bottles and used coffee mugs. He was barely recovering from his cold, his nose was still stuffy, he hadn’t seen anyone in almost a week. After his trial had finally been over, he had just gone to barricade into his home until he wasn’t sick anymore. He was resting, just like he’d planned to.

He wasn’t ready to meet Ferdinand in these conditions.

He hurried and cleaned as much as he could of his living room, went to change out of his sweaty t-shirt, even stopped in front of the mirror to push back his bangs before berating his foolishness out loud. So what if he was coming? So what if he found Hubert in such a pitiful condition, alone and sick and covered in snot? He shouldn’t care that much.

However, he heard the ringbell and suddenly he cared. He tried to bring all the empty cups to his sink and raked a hand through his hair once more, all the while hearing the vibration of his phone, a text from Ferdinand asking if he was home. For one moment, he thought about telling him he wasn’t. The next, he was unlocking his door.

Hubert felt almost blinded by the large smile the other man gave him, hair flowing around his face, a little red because of the cold and almost dwarfed by an impressive scarf. Ferdinand tucked a lock behind his ear, rubbing his hands for warmth.

“Hello, I hope I’m not waking you up? Edelgard told you I was coming, right? How are you feeling?”

He repressed a cold answer, a _‘yes she did, about two minutes before you arrived, and that’s too many questions’_ , and nodded slowly.

“I’m feeling better, thank you.”

Ferdinand handed him his scarf, and Hubert mutedly thanked him for it. He was about to say something, anything to fill up the silence, when Ferdinand crouched to grab something that was near his foot.

“Here, I wanted to drink something warm, so I bought one for you too.”

Hubert lowered his eyes to the paper cup and mumbled : “I don’t drink Starbucks.”

“Wh– It’s not Starbucks, who do you take me for!” Ferdinand replied, almost offended. “It’s probably not the best you’ll ever taste but it’s from a real coffee shop, you can trust me on that. And to be fair, I thought I shouldn’t bring you coffee when you’re sick, but you’re addicted anyway, so…”

He was holding the cup in his direction, waiting for Hubert to take it – and he complied. Still, he kept his eyes lowered during Ferdinand’s babble, looking at his bright red hands which were still rubbing each other for warmth. He finally said :

“Come in. I’ll make you tea.”

The TA blinked, clearly not expecting that, and did not immediately move. Hubert still opened his door and took a step back, inviting his guest to come in. Ferdinand timidly did.

“Really, it’s fine, you don’t have to! You should rest.”

“I told you I’m feeling better. It might be a little messy, but it’s warmer than the hallway.”

Ferdinand finally entered properly, removing his coat and shoulder bag. Hubert took his cup to the kitchen, leaving it on the counter while he was checking his cupboards.

“Choose whichever you like,” he muttered when he found the tea box, handing it to Ferdinand.

“Do you have a favorite?”

“I don’t drink tea. All of those are Byleth’s gifts. She brings some every time she comes here, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out she can pull teabags out of her sleeves like a magician hides doves.”

Ferdinand let out a surprised chuckle, quickly choosing one flavor. Meanwhile, Hubert was done putting the water to boil and told his guest to make himself comfortable. Ferdinand placed his bag on the floor next to the wall, while putting his coat on his chair and sitting down.

“I didn’t know Byleth was visiting you so often.”

Hubert took a sip of his gift. It wasn’t too hot, there was no sugar, no milk, just black coffee. It was true that he had better, but he found himself drinking more than he thought.

“She usually comes with Edelgard,” he replied while nodding in the direction of the two other kitchen chairs. “Hence the life-support amount of tea she brings with her.”

“By the way, I was wondering about that. Did they meet thanks to you?”

“Not at all,” he replied. “They met during boxing classes.”

“Byleth knows boxing?”

He chuckled. “Byleth was the student, and Edelgard the teacher.”

Ferdinand’s eyebrows shot up high. “Really? I heard Edelgard was the sportive type, but not to that extent. I’d be curious to see her on the ring.”

“She doesn’t compete anymore, sadly. She chose to focus on her studies. But she was certainly a sight to see.”

The kettle beeped and Hubert went back to prepare his guest’s drink, handing it to him. Ferdinand blew at the surface to not burn his tongue, and took a sip. He didn’t offer much other than an appreciative sigh, probably too polite to tell Hubert whether it was actually good or not.

“It really is interesting, hearing you talk about Edelgard. I know you’re very close, but I never had the chance to see it for myself.” He smiled, eyes lowered to the rim of his mug. “You talk about her like she’s your pride and joy.”

“She is.”

“See? That’s what I mean,” he chuckled, taking another sip and then putting his drink on the table next to him. “It’s rare to see you being so tender towards someone. How old were you when you two met?”

Hubert sighed a little bit but didn’t try to run away from that conversation. This story was not the one he was the most comfortable sharing, but he didn’t mind it that much. He went to sit in the chair on the other side of the little kitchen table and said :

“I guess I was something around eleven or twelve. My father and Edelgard’s were business partners, they met a lot, so my father thought the best way to occupy us would be to give us a game to play. I was given the role of her bodyguard. I took it seriously, even though I didn’t think for a second that she would actually need protection.”

Ferdinand nodded, playing with his teabag’s string.

“I know the feeling, I guess. My dad kept taking me to boring ceremonies and the kind, and then tried to find a way to ditch me somewhere else.” He shook his head, almost rolling his eyes at the memory. “I wish I had found company like you did.”

Hubert saw the little shadow that passed through his friend’s eyes. He took advantage of another sip of his drink to ponder about where that conversation could go next, whether he should change the subject or not. He decided to not shy away from it.

“Is this time for our ‘father issues’ conversation? Minus the alcohol, obviously.”

That got a laugh out of Ferdinand. He opened his mouth, thinking a little bit about it, but ended up just sighing.

“You’re really similar to Edelgard in that regard,” he softly said. “I barely knew her and one day, she just told me all about her childhood. Just like that. Terrible things happened to her, my issues seem truly ridiculous next to hers, and yet…” He shook his head, openly wincing. “I find it extremely difficult to share this without preparing myself for it first. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. There’s no rush.” Hubert smiled a little, just from one corner of his mouth, trying to be reassuring. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Ferdinand’s eyes widened a little bit. He even blushed a little. Clearing his throat, he thanked him, bit his lip and said : “You’d probably die of pneumonia if you did, anyway.”

Just like that, the conversation reverted to some friendly banter. But as Hubert was getting close to finish his drink, he couldn’t help but think about what would come after. Where this conversation was going.

Ferdinand was in his home. And even if Hubert loved to deny it out loud, he was now pretty convinced that Ferdinand was attracted to him, in one way or another. That was one thing. The level of attraction and what exactly that entailed, however, he didn’t have a clue.

It was the first time they were meeting somewhere private, and you couldn’t get more private than Hubert’s own apartment. What if Ferdinand decided to make his move right now? What would Hubert do? Sure, he wanted the redhead to admit his own feelings out loud, but he had never considered what it might be like, and what would actually follow.

Luckily for him, he didn’t have enough time to imagine anything. Ferdinand finished his drink and brought his mug to the sink to quickly wash it, left it to dry, and then he took his coat and bag, telling Hubert he needed to go home. He hadn’t even realized night had fallen, and while it was barely half past 5, Ferdinand had indeed said he would be busy during their vacation week.

Hubert followed Ferdinand to the door, watching him from the corner of his eye and waiting for him to do something, anything. Surely the TA would make some kind of move. This was all a game, even if they enjoyed the other’s company. Ferdinand had to know he knew, and if he was still there, it meant he wanted to act on it, some way or another. And Hubert wouldn’t let him take the advantage over him so easily.

“You don’t have a car, do you?” he asked just before he opened his door. “I can drive you home.”

He watched Ferdinand’s eyebrows shoot up high, clearly surprised by the proposition. Of course he hadn’t planned for Hubert to be so forward. He actually exclaimed when he saw Hubert walking towards his set of keys : “There’s no need! I can take the train!”

He frowned a little while hearing that. Was he actually stupid, not taking the opportunity Hubert was giving him? Or did he notice the trap?

“I don’t mind,” he insisted.

“I’d rather you stay here and rest, ok?” Ferdinand quickly answered as he finished buttoning his coat and was stepping towards the door.

Hubert stopped moving, his eyes critically observing the man in front of him and his bashful act. He really wanted to take a step as well, block the door, force Ferdinand against his entrance wall and make him confess everything. He wanted to hear it all, the more embarrassing the better. He wanted Ferdinand to be as red as his hair, his eyes shiny with repressed tears, mouth open in abandon and shame.

Hubert simply opened his door, and waved Ferdinand goodbye as he disappeared at the corner of the building’s corridors. When he closed it and finally turned the lock, he ended with his forehead pressed against the wood, berating himself under his breath.

After a while, he finally went back to his living room and took his phone, quickly dialing one of the top numbers. Edelgard picked up and he immediately said :

“I yield. You were right.”

A few seconds of silence rang between them until she answered :

_“I know, I usually am.”_

“It was very unfair of you to put me on the spot like that.”

_“As long as it worked. So what’s next?”_

He sighed. Thought about the red cheeks, about Ferdinand clearly seeing the pile of dirty cups in his sink but not saying a word about it, about the coffee that was actually pretty tasty and that he’d like to try again when his taste buds would work normally.

“I wait, I guess.”

 _“What do you mean? The least you could do is invite him out_.”

“That would be counterproductive.”

“ _...huh?”_

He rolled his eyes a little bit, all the while falling on his cushions.

“What are you surprised for? I’m not going to do anything. He wants to play that game with me, and I’m fine with that. I won’t give up first.”

_“I don’t think we’re having the same conversation. What exactly are you doing with Ferdinand…?”_

“Waiting for him to get bored and leave me be, or to spill everything. We both know what’s going on, but if he wants to play the airhead he’ll have a nice surprise. I am a very patient man.”

“... _and that’s it?”_

“That’s it.”

He heard her sigh.

_“You’re so busy and exhausted all the time. And yet you found the time for this kind of game. But I guess I’d rather you spend your time flirting than losing weight and hair over more cases.”_

“That, I cannot control.”

_“You have a pile of internship requests on your desk. You could learn to delegate. You could not work alone for once. That would open up some time for you.”_

He threw a glance at the mentioned pile, which was still on his desk just as she said. He started wondering how long it had been there.

“That would require diplomacy.”

_“Which you probably need for your little dance with Ferdinand anyway.”_

He shook his head and walked to the pile. He opened the first file.

**To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad because last chapter was all about Ferdinand, his inner struggles, where he comes from, his background etc. while this chapter is mostly Hubert being “uhhh hair and thighs”. Please forgive him. He was very tired.
> 
> More seriously, I plan to give more characterization to Hubert at some point, it’s just that right now, he’s just not yet where I want him to be so that we can explore more about him and his mindset. The whole thing about Ferdinand, at least the way I wanted to write him, was that he craves attention and validation, and he already liked/admired Hubert beforehand. That’s why it was so easy for him to just give himself into this given situation, once he went past his own embarrassment.
> 
> Hubert is a very different case, he’s more sensible to genuine feelings. So the idea that Ferdinand might want to fuck him, while he obviously enjoys it, is still not the push he needs to really take that step, and really get him out of his comfort zone aka make him face a lot of things he’d rather not think about. And obviously, I’m not done with Ferdinand either, his character is not gonna stop at “lawyer, hubert, hot”, he’s still got things to unwrap.
> 
> So… yeah… this fic is gonna be at least fifteen chapters LOL
> 
> Also, I know it says "update every two weeks" in the tags but I might remove that, because I just started working and it's really taking up a lot of my time. I'll still try to make it every three weeks at least, but even right now I still haven't finished chapter 5, and I don't want to make promises I can't keep.  
> However, if you want to know when a new chapter is coming out, I'm still giving updates on my twitter account! [@PapyFerdiBertie](https://twitter.com/PapyFerdiBertie)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you [Ramen](https://twitter.com/GaikotsuRamen) for the beta <33

He was in the elevator and about to press the button to his floor when he heard someone running over, asking him to hold it open. He quickly threw his arm in between the closing doors and saw that it was Hubert who was jogging in his direction, his briefcase tucked under his arm and a paper cup in his hand.

Hubert ran so that he could get inside in time, a breath of relief escaping him as he finally stepped inside and the doors closed behind him. Then he turned his head towards Ferdinand, smiled a little, and said in a low voice, a bit husky after his run :

“Good morning.”

Ferdinand was sure his eyes were wide open in disbelief, almost staring open-mouthed. After all, this Hubert was miles away from the one he had seen a few days ago. His face had a healthy blush, dark rings no longer heavy around his eyes. And he had gotten his hair cut. Sure, not by a whole lot, just enough to see more of his eyes. But his hair must have been treated with some lotion, spray, something, because Ferdinand was sure he had never seen his locks look so soft and shiny.

His neck was more exposed, and suddenly the lawyer just looked bigger, larger than before. Looming over him but not in a threatening way, he immediately thought of Hubert’s arm around his shoulders, of the feeling of running his fingers through the black locks, if he could grasp them and pull his face towards his– 

So yeah. It was best to keep his mouth close. Or occupied, in the very least.

“Good morning. You certainly look better than the last time I saw you. Nice haircut.”

He fought to keep a steady voice. Hubert raised a hand to his forehead, combing back his bangs and chuckling.

“Good eye. I just needed a little refresher.”

“It suits you.”

“Thanks.” And then he raised his other hand, holding out his cup. “Here. For you.”

He blinked at the drink and repeated like an idiot : “For me?”

“A thank you for the other day. It’s from my favorite place, they also make tea, though I haven’t tried it myself.”

Ferdinand gingerly took the cup, raising it to his lips so he could take a sip. He almost immediately took another one.

“I love it, thank you!” he exclaimed, unable to refrain a giddy smile. That made Hubert chuckle.

“You’re very welcome.”

He quickly went to hide behind his drink, feeling his cheeks heat up at the sound of the mellow, almost honey-like voice. The elevator stopped at their floor and they stepped out to walk together to the faculty room.

That gave him the opportunity to take a longer look while they were exchanging pleasantries about his drink. Hubert was not only looking a lot healthier, he also looked divinely good in his winter outfit. A black wool trench coat with a high collar, a dark red cashmere scarf tightly wrapped around his neck but also black leather gloves. The gloves surely added a lot. And made Ferdinand bite the inside of his cheek.

“Seeing you all healthy like that after just a few days of resting, I’m gonna start to believe Linhardt was right.”

“Well it surely gave Edelgard some ideas,” Hubert replied while shaking his head. “Not a day goes by without her pestering me about finding myself a subordinate, or some kind of intern.”

“You’ve never taken one?”

“I never saw the appeal, no.”

They entered the room, a few heads lifting as they always did when Mr Vestra entered a room. However, Ferdinand and Hubert didn’t part immediately, settling on a side table near the coffee kettle. They both had some time to spare before class started.

“Are _you_ going to start this whole resting thing now?” Hubert slowly asked while taking a clean mug and pouring himself some of the warm but disgusting instant coffee they used in the office.

“I would if I could.”

“Really now, if I can find some time, I’m sure you can.”

As he was making his new year resolutions, Ferdinand had come to this conclusion – if he wanted to actually pursue any relationship, with Hubert or anybody else, he had to free his schedule. This was what hadn’t worked out the first time, when he was just starting university and dated like his life depended on it, each attempt ending more badly than the one before. And it was always the same problem – Ferdinand didn’t have time to hang out, to spend the weekend away, sometimes even foregoing lunch because of his shifts. He had to work to survive, to not end up in the street, pay back some student loans. Some of his boyfriends hadn’t been able to understand that. Some of them had called him names, thinking he just wanted a booty-call and was not as sincere as he pretended to be.

This situation certainly didn’t last long. Ferdinand quickly stopped trying and accepted his celibacy. However, his first experiences had left some damages. Even when his life got stabler, he didn’t take the chance to try again. He was scared of the story repeating itself, he might’ve thought he wasn’t good enough anyway.

Sometimes, his father’s cruel words just kept echoing in his mind. And sometimes, he tended to believe them.

“... I did think about it,” he sighed. “My friends are starting to get worried too. And they’re right, I know they are. But it’s so hard to stop.”

Hubert didn’t reply, just nodding, clearly able to sympathise with that thought. They had to split after that, Ferdinand had to make copies of this semester’s syllabus. Hubert finished his drink in one swig and went to sit at his desk, glaring at a few files.

However, Ferdinand Aegir was anything but low-spirited. Now that he had seen how great it had been for his coworker to just take a little care of himself, he was forced to admit that it _was_ possible for him to do the same. Hubert was right. If he could do it, anyone could. So he worked a little bit faster, stayed a little bit later, just so he could be free for the entire week-end. Ingrid almost kicked his ass when she saw him still in the office past 9PM, but he did manage to rest.

On Saturday, at least. It was awful. He had nothing to do, and felt guilty just staying at home not doing anything. He felt tempted to call someone, go on a jog, but no, he knew he couldn’t. In the end, he just cleaned up his whole apartment and then spent the night on the phone with some friends, desperately trying to find something to do that wouldn’t involve him going out.

And that’s when Dorothea gave him a brilliant idea. Sure, he had thought about it, but he was certain he didn’t have the means to, that it was just a far away dream, for later, when he’d be much, much wealthier.

On Sunday, he took the train. About thirty minutes outside of the city, there was an equestrian center that Dorothea had heard about. And the best thing about it was that they not only gave lessons, they also allowed people from the city to adopt their horses, all the while letting them live in the stables to be used for riding lessons. It was pricey and something he should’ve thought about for a little bit longer, but Ferdinand jumped on the occasion.

That’s how he found himself enamored with a dapple gray mare called Kiwi. Not a name he would’ve chosen himself, but children usually picked them so he couldn’t complain. When asked which one he wanted, Ferdinand spent a few minutes with each of them, giving them treats, rubbing their snouts and quietly talking to them. He chose Kiwi because she was a little bit stubborn, barely acknowledging him when he entered the stables. He knew from experience children preferred sweeter, calmer ones, and that she might just need to actually have an owner. He was confident in his skills anyway, he knew she couldn’t throw him off her back, at least not if he didn’t deserve it.

Still, before signing any adoption paper, he had to prove he was capable of owning a horse, especially since he wasn’t planning on riding around the ring but really explore the surrounding area and forest on his own. Amanda, a member of the staff, stayed with him in the stables, checking if he actually knew how to take care of her, and they ended up talking a little bit about him, his childhood memories of him learning to ride.

He was relieved to see she didn’t recognize his name. After all, being named Aegir didn’t necessarily mean he was naturally gifted with horses, his brother surely knew the basics but nothing more. He didn’t tell her about the background behind his family name either. He thought he better stay quiet about that.

They went to the ring just to make a few laps, see if he was comfortable with his mount. It had been years since he had the occasion to ride but he really was no amateur, so it went fairly well. It didn’t take long for her to give her approval, and she even offered to sign the papers immediately, but Ferdinand decided to wait until he had the possibility to go outdoors with the mare first. He needed to know if she was easily spooked. She had quite the hard-boiled temperament, but you never know.

Sadly, Amanda couldn’t come with him, she needed to leave for a class soon, but she let him trot for a few more laps while she was looking for a colleague who was available to ride around with him and make sure he wouldn’t get lost – or worse, steal their mare. Ferdinand saw her come out of the office building and she waved goodbye to him, so he slowed Kiwi down to wave back while patting his mount’s neck. Since he had to wait a little bit more for someone else, he decided to gallop for a little bit longer than before, he could feel that Kiwi was actually getting annoyed with his slower pace.

His heart was beating loudly as he felt the wind around him. Sadly, the ring was fairly small and there were no obstacles around, but his body hadn’t forgotten anything and this made his chest feel lighter. He hadn’t been on horseback for eight years already. It was exhilarating to finally be back, feel the power between his legs, the chemistry with his mount as he could feel her finally let off some steam and accelerate without any risk of ejecting her rider.

A few minutes passed and he noticed that someone was standing near the barrier to watch them ride. Ferdinand started to slow Kiwi down, so that he could come to a gentle stop in front of the redhead who called out to him :

“I guess you’re Kiwi’s future owner?”

“Seems like it,” he laughed. “And you’re Amanda’s colleague?”

“Sure am. I was going to the box to take my girl, but man, you two make a pretty couple, I had to stop and watch.” He grinned, patting Kiwi’s snout before holding his hand to Ferdinand. “Sylvain Gautier.”

Ferdinand returned the smile and shook his hand. “Ferdinand Aegir. Nice to meet you.”

“Oh?” Sylvain blinked. “Coincidence?”

“Ah, yes,” he quickly said. There was no reason someone from his family would need to actually adopt a horse, they had stables all over the country. He didn’t really want to lie, but he didn’t want to explain his situation either. “More like fate, I suppose?”

A few minutes later, the two of them were out of the facility with their mounts, walking along an earth path while easily conversing. Sylvain worked there as a teacher but he also owned his own horse and used the stables for himself. He added that his position allowed him to organize polo games and he said that if he wanted, Ferdinand was welcome to participate. The four of them ended up walking around the area, Sylvain sharing his knowledge and telling him a little bit about the land. It wasn’t as big as Ferdinand would’ve liked, and the lack of freedom would be frustrating but he would make do. It was still better than nothing.

“Honestly no one’s going to check on you, you can go outside of the facility if you want to,” Sylvain told him. “The area’s full of lakes and forests, and hunting’s forbidden.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to cause trouble to anyone.”

Sylvain just gave him a little sideway smile. “I’m not supposed to but I always go out and everyone knows it. I mean, she’s yours now. You decide what’s best for her. And I know mine would get bored always going around the same spot. Your choice.”

“I guess…” he sighed with a little laugh. “The one I was riding when I was young was exactly like that. She just went on her way, and I let her guide me. That’s also something I missed a lot.”

Sylvain just watched him for a while, but he didn’t say anything else. Soon enough, they were back to the stables. Ferdinand signed the adoption papers and decided to not look at his bank account when he’d be home. It was worth it. He needed the fresh air, he needed the rest, and he could maybe even make new friends, out of his workplace this time. Sylvain was certainly friendly, he might even dare call him flirty but he wasn’t sure. Ferdinand decided to not take it at face value, and wait to see more of the other man.

He was riding the train home when the thought passed through his head. He wanted to take some time for himself, but his real goal was to free some time for someone else in his life. Ferdinand was tired of his celibacy, and he was taking the first step. Now he couldn’t run away, he wasn’t one to step back.

Obviously, his guts were telling him he didn’t want _anybody_. And it seemed like everything was going in the right direction. The thought of the lawyer’s little gift, his smile, his gloves, made his stomach pleasantly clench. He was almost impatient to be at university the next day, just in the hope he’d see Hubert again.

This was definitely a crush, Ferdinand had stopped denying it. He liked Hubert, and he knew enough about the man that he could trust him to be a good lover. Now, that certainly didn’t mean he was immediately going to make a move, or jump into the possibility of a relationship with him. They were friends but they didn’t really know each other that much. And Ferdinand didn’t forget that when Byleth had implied that Hubert had feelings for him, she had meant more than plain lust.

Sure, he could just forego any subtlety, wish for the best, and spend one great night. But this wasn’t what he was going for. It wasn’t what Ferdinand needed. No more one-night stands. He was ready for something more serious, and if Hubert didn’t agree, well Ferdinand would just look somewhere else.

He wanted a bond, this was what he was slowly understanding. Sure, he had made some great friends in the past years, some friends he’d keep for life. But Ferdinand was a romantic, deep down. And while he wasn’t asking for the love of his life right here right now, he still wanted to share more than body warmth. And for it to not end badly this time.

Sadly, he didn’t have the chance to talk to Hubert in the days that followed. The association was in the middle of a very heavy lawsuit and he was needed for his expertise almost every night after his classes ended. He might even be called in court this time, so he made a note to mention this to his coworker as soon as possible and hope for some advices.

On Thursday he was finally free, but he needed to work on his thesis. He stayed all afternoon until the library was closing and night had already fallen. When he took a step outside his eyes widened. He hadn’t even noticed it had started snowing.

Ferdinand couldn’t help but feel some kind of childish glee. The street was already covered in white, and sure, it probably meant the trains wouldn’t work very well, but at that moment he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, looking at the sky and the constellation of white flakes slowly falling over him.

He exhaled, watching the little clouds of hot air float above him and disappear. A flake fell on his cheek, immediately turning into a freezing drop of water. It was not going to stay, it might even stop in a few minutes. Ferdinand could allow himself this little moment of peace, looking at the dark sky and not thinking about anything.

He ended up back against a wall nearby, sometimes watching the flakes gather in his gloved hand, sometimes looking up once more, looking for the moon hidden behind the clouds. For a second, he remembered New Year, going back home with Dorothea, cuddling for warmth. It would’ve been nice to have someone to cuddle right now.

Deep inside of him, he might’ve made a wish, hoped for this to happen immediately. How surprised he was to hear footsteps stop not far away from him, and then hear a familiar voice. Ferdinand turned his head in that direction, and while he couldn’t see the person hidden behind their black umbrella he immediately recognized the gloves.

He didn’t even think. He started walking in Hubert’s direction, surprised to see he wasn’t alone. He was with a younger man who was about to leave, quickly ducking out of the umbrella and putting on his jacket’s hood to run in the direction of the bus station. Hubert turned around and stopped in his tracks when he noticed him.

The glowing light coming from a nearby streetlight was bathing him in warm gold, while his umbrella still covered half of his face in darkness. Chiaroscuro, he thought, really fitted Hubert’s character. Never really showing his real self, always looking like he knows something you don’t, but deep down a really sweet, charming man with overprotecting tendencies. He felt his chest ache with some burning affection.

“Good evening,” Ferdinand said with a smile. “You’re out late.”

“Look who’s talking.”

Ferdinand laughed a little, bashfully turning his head away and tucking hair behind his ear. He realized it was all wet, his head was probably covered in snow.

“I was in the library to work on my thesis, I didn’t see time go by. Late class?”

“Late meeting.” Hubert quickly looked at his watch and shook his head. “And I also have an early one tomorrow. I shouldn’t stall.”

Ferdinand tried to hide the disappointment that was surely openly visible in the curb of his eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry. See you, then.”

“I’m actually taking the train tonight,” Hubert sighed. “My car got all frosted last night. I got a little bit lazy. So I guess we’re going in the same direction.”

They started walking to the station. It was about ten minutes away by foot, and Ferdinand silently prayed to any god listening that he wouldn’t slip on some hidden ice and make a fool of himself.

“So you were meeting with a student…?” he slowly asked, hoping he wasn’t overstepping.

“An alumni. I believe I told you about me taking an intern?”

“Oh, he’s one of the candidates?”

“He’s _the_ candidate. I told him I was meeting a few other students but I’m not interested in doing interviews. I read his application letter and I remembered him. He’s good enough.”

“And you’re settling for ‘good enough’?”

Hubert rolled his eyes, his hand squeezing the handle of his umbrella while discreetly pushing it on his left so that it was covering Ferdinand.

“Why should I go for the best students? They don’t need my help, I would have nothing to teach them. Also, they’re usually the most annoying ones, at least I know I was. I remember Ashe, he was diligent and seemed eager to learn. Exactly what I’m looking for.”

A little giggle escaped Ferdinand. Hubert tried to play it off by raising an eyebrow, but he could see the little smirk on his lips. He knew the TA liked his sense of humor.

“Good for the two of you, then. What are you going to do with all your free time?”

“Sleep a little bit more, I guess.”

“Only that?” Hubert just smiled but he didn’t answer. Ferdinand let it slip. “Well I wish _I_ had an intern. I decided to start horse riding again, and I’m doing my best to fit it into my schedule but I’m scared I’m only going to overwork myself even more.”

“Because of your classes? Or your other work?”

“...both.” He just laughed it off. “I’ll be fine, I’ll manage. I only have to clench my teeth until the end of the year anyway. Once my thesis is done and I have one less job, everything will be alright.”

“Less children to take care of, but more annoying lawyers, though.”

Ferdinand almost stumbled, but not even because of the ice. How did Hubert know he was planning to stop working for university? He hadn’t told anyone, not even Ingrid knew. Could he just guess it, from hearing him talk about it?

“Yes, so many annoying lawyers!” he said with a sigh. “But don’t worry, I might have to go to court in a few weeks, so I’ll be sure to call you ‘genius lawyer’ instead when I need your help.”

Hubert just let out a snort while closing his umbrella, since they had finally arrived at the train station. He gingerly went to dust his shoulders, the right one covered in snow. “You know, I built my reputation so that I would be considered The Annoying Lawyer.”

“I guess you have a point.”

“But I’ll do my best to help you. If I’m not facing you in court.”

“Please don’t,” Ferdinand laughed with little mirth all the while taking out his transportation card. “We’d like to win our lawsuits.”

His umbrella tucked under his armpit, Hubert started digging around his pockets for a train ticket. It was a little bit bent but the machine took it without any issue, and they followed the way to the train platform.

“I was kidding, I would never accept a case connected to a friend or family.”

“Really?” Ferdinand said, fairly surprised. “Not even Edelgard?”

“I would help her find the best lawyer, of course. But I’d rather be on the witness’ stand.” He sighed. “You can never be sure what witnesses will say, if they’re saying the entire truth before the trial starts. At least I know I would.”

“Interesting. I had never thought about it like that.”

Luckily their train arrived as soon as they stepped on the platform. It was starting to be late too, so they decided to sit on a pair of seats, facing each other. When the train was picking up speed or suddenly slowing down, he could feel Hubert’s knees brushing his, but they didn’t try to move.

A comfortable silence had fallen between them. Ferdinand was pretty hungry, and he could guess that Hubert hadn’t eaten either. Deep in his thoughts, he started to fantasize about suddenly asking the lawyer out for dinner, right now. He thought about them talking for hours and hours, a little bit red in the cheeks when they just looked at each other in the eyes in a moment of silence. And then, maybe, either moving his hand until it was resting on his friend’s, or moving his foot under the table, until he could brush it against Hubert’s calf, right above his sock…

Ferdinand closed his eyes and internally sighed. It was so cliche. So stereotypical. If he wasn’t on the verge of falling asleep, lulled by the pleasant company and the sound of the train, he would be blushing in embarrassment. Which he was, embarrassed that is. Not enough to not file this little scenario in a corner of his mind for later. Most probably later that night, in his bed, alone. He decided it would be better if they just kept on talking : “You know, if someone had told me we would be in this situation, like, two months ago, I would have told them they were out of their mind.”

Hubert seemed shaken out of his thoughts as well. He blinked, as if he needed a second to understand what Ferdinand had just said. “Are you referring to our relationship?”

“Of course. I’ll be honest, I was starting to think you hated me.”

“I never did,” he slowly said. “Though I can’t say I was a big fan of you either. You did paint a very annoying version of yourself during the elections.”

Ferdinand couldn’t help but wince at the memory. He liked competition, and Edelgard had been such a sublime adversary that he had felt necessary to do everything in his power to wrench victory for her even if she was the big favorite. Some people didn’t really like that. And he could guess why Hubert in particular had been annoyed with how excessive he had sometimes acted for something as simple as the elections of the student council representative. “I don’t like losing,” he just said like it explained everything. “And I felt like I was the better candidate.”

“Which you were not,” Hubert slowly said, giving him a look from under his bangs.

“The students surely thought so. I won’t protest Edelgard’s victory, she won fair and square.”

Hubert didn’t answer immediately, the air filled with the loud sound of another train passing by. “I can feel a ‘but’ just begging to complete your sentence.”

“... But,” Ferdinand did add with a little smile. “I still think I would’ve been an even better representative. Sadly, no one will ever know that but me.”

Hubert raised an eyebrow, silently shaking his head. “You’re incredible.”

“Hm?” he could only answer, his eyes widening considerably, and, once again, struck by the feeling of a knee pushing against his own.

“You think every word you’re saying, even when they are complete bullshit. And yet none of them are lies, you truly believe in yourself that much. This is pretty amazing, having such self-confidence without an ounce of arrogance.”

“I’m sure a lot of people would have something to say about that last one…” he replied with a nervous laugh, unable to look at Hubert in the eyes anymore and his ears burning hot.

“Just like you trust your own gut feeling, I trust mine.” Hubert smirked. “Though that still means I don’t think you could even try to compare to Edelgard in terms of politics.”

“Oh, shut up,” he mumbled, now beet red, while Hubert was silently shaking his shoulders to repress a laugh. “Let’s change the subject, I’d like to know more about your gut feelings.”

“Oh? What do you want to know?”

“Well, tell me more about it. What else do you have to say about me?”

He saw Hubert furrowing his eyebrows before he schooled his face into something more neutral. The lawyer leaned forward, one elbow on his crossed knees, and his hand on his chin, deep in thoughts. He stayed like that for a few seconds, and Ferdinand fidgeted a little bit under his gaze, reconsidering asking such a bold question.

“I’m actually in a pinch, right now. Because I’m starting to doubt one of the first things I had thought about you. It doesn’t happen very often.”

For Hubert to phrase it like that, that meant ‘it never happens’. Ferdinand stopped fidgeting, now feeling something very solid and very hot inside his stomach.

“And it is… ?”

Hubert took a deep breath, lifting his hand, brushing his gloved fingertips against Ferdinand’s cheek, and tucking away a stray lock that had been tickling his nose.

“That you are either a very, very, crafty man…”

Ferdinand actually gulped when the fingers kept on going, almost touching his lower lip. He screamed at his body to move, to lean back, or lean forward, or at least close his legs for fuck’s sake, but nothing worked. He stayed unmoving, hooked onto Hubert’s words, waiting for the next one, the one that would probably seal his fate.

“Or…”

Hubert frowned again, his thumb now holding his chin, and his voice so low, he could barely hear it with all the white noise around them. Ferdinand took a shaky breath, eyes wide open, almost begging for Hubert to _do it, just do it_.

“Or you’re incredibly stupid.”

That got Ferdinand to jerk back, close his mouth and furrow his brows. Too bad he was more confused than offended, so the tightness in his pants remained.

“Wh-What do you mean?”

“Like I said,” Hubert slowly said, retracting his hand and leaning back on his seat. “I still don’t know which one it is.”

“I feel like both of those are very wrong, you know! I’m not playing any game, but I’m not stupid either!”

“...That’s a gut feeling. I can’t help that.”

He shook his head, now clearly embarrassed about getting his panties in a twist for such a disappointing conclusion. At least he finally crossed his legs, still not over the feeling of the gloved fingertips brushing against his lower lip. “Well I liked it better when you were actually complimenting me! As unpleasant as it was.”

“You don’t like compliments?”

“Not when I don’t have the time to prepare myself beforehand.”

That earned him a smirk. “Noted.”

“Shut up.”

Hubert shook his head with a sigh, but he also went to grab his briefcase when the train brakes started ringing across the car. “That’s my stop. Goodnight, Ferdinand.”

“Goodnight…”

He only gave him a little wave, watching the other man through the windows as he walked in the direction of the escalator, taking the stairs and disappearing from his view. As soon as he did, a big, loud and infuriated sigh escaped him and he sagged against his seat, lightly knocking his head against the handlebar behind it.

Maybe Hubert was right, maybe he _was_ an idiot for expecting anything more than this kind of tease. The lawyer seemed to enjoy it so much, of course he wouldn’t give in first. That was what happened at first, what with him staring at him from afar. And taking revenge had been so sweet. He still remembered the shock on Hubert’s face, his voice raising a little, so taken aback by such a little surprise and sweet words.

Maybe he should do that again, he thought. It had worked once, it would probably work again. And he didn’t have anything to lose. Yes, he decided. He’d do it again.

He opened his eyes, feeling resolve bursting through his veins. He knew exactly what to do. He opened his phone and went to check his calendar. He also sent a message to Ingrid, being sure to include the reason why he needed her favor, because she seemed so interested in his love life surely she could help him a little bit.

Ferdinand bit his lip to repress a smile. His disappointment didn’t last for long. He honestly couldn’t wait. He really hoped it could work, and most of all, he hoped that could finally be the end of them dancing around each other. If he wanted to play that game, Ferdinand was on. He was competitive, _and_ self-confident, Hubert had been right about that.

His gaze was lost in the car as he tried to imagine Hubert’s reaction, when he saw someone looking at him. He didn’t know him, he seemed a little bit younger though, maybe a student from university? For a second, Ferdinand felt a little bit embarrassed, realizing that all of their previous little game, him getting excited, had taken place in public.

The guy didn’t say anything, though. He just shrugged a little, gave him an agreeing nod and lifted his thumb.

Ferdinand couldn’t help it. He nodded back, raising his thumb while a very proud smile tugged at his lips.

**To be continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the smaller chapter, especially after almost a month. Right now I'm working almost non-stop and when I'm done working I just want to get away from my computer and google docs so it's pretty hard to write right now. I'll still do my best to update at least once a month!
> 
> Also I guess it’s starting to show that the extent of my knowledge about trials is Ace Attorney (and that one time my bff dragged me to watch one). I’m doing my best.
> 
> Finally, I hope you like that “thumbs up kid”, he’s nobody, I wasn’t planning to put him in again, I was just trying to end that final scene and I imagined him being there and still being like 😲 👍 I mean, there’s this funny trope of students meddling with their teacher’s love life and I know it happens IRL (uhuh Ramen, I remember your doujinshi stories), but I find it even funnier to imagine this dude just being there and being like ‘oh. that’s awesome. no biggie.’


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day y'all <3
> 
> Lots of love to everyone but especially my beta [@GaikotsuRamen](https://twitter.com/GaikotsuRamen) <333 She's currently got fic comms open, so go check it out!!

There were only a few days left before the beginning of February and Edelgard was starting to get anxious.

Her trip with Byleth was all planned, three days near the sea to relax, spend some time with one another, forget about school and life for Valentine’s day. She honestly couldn’t wait, it had been months in the making.

But she had yet to tell Hubert.

He knew, kind of. She had mentioned her plans for Valentine’s day earlier that year but nothing since. He had clearly shown how uncomfortable he was with the idea of her going away during the month where she was bound to feel the most anxious. She couldn’t remember a lot of it, but Hubert did. He had been there for every panic attack, every nightmare for more than fifteen years already. And he didn't like to talk about it, but she knew he was just as anxious as she was.

There was no turning back though. Edelgard wanted Hubert to relax and to trust Byleth with her well-being. She wanted him to actually celebrate Valentine’s day too. After all she had already done behind his back, she couldn’t give up now. But before further scheming, she wanted to be upfront with him. She didn’t actually know anything but she could guess that neither he nor Ferdinand had any plans for the 14th. She thought maybe she could nudge them a little.

Hubert and her were currently in the middle of lunch, catching up on a few days without seeing one another. They were in a nice part of town, she had just gotten out of an internship interview at the embassy – which had gone very well – and he was telling her about his own experience with his intern. “He’s adequate,” he simply told her. “He learns pretty fast, and he’s not following me around like a lost puppy. That’s all I want.”

“I would’ve guessed that from the look on your face,” she said with a little smile. “You almost look like you slept last night. How refreshing.”

“Well, I’m only taking simple cases right now, we’ll see how it goes once we start working for real.”

She sipped on her drink, quickly looking around and hoping for their waiter to arrive. She was pretty hungry. "Though I have to say,” Hubert added. “While he’s surely no loudmouth, he’s more outspoken than I thought. It’s surprising.”

“Well if he wants to be a lawyer that makes sense. So you don’t mind it?” He just shrugged. “Hah! I knew it. You’ve always had a soft spot for people who can actually argue with you.”

“Do you really think so?”

Edelgard discreetly clenched her fists to prepare herself for the incoming conversation. “Well I’ve seen you and Ferdinand together.” He rolled his eyes, and she added with a smirk. “Though I don’t know if it can still be called a soft spot at this point.”

“If you say so.”

“How is it going, by the way? Your little…” She moved her hand like she was looking for her words, just to tease him. “Game.”

“It’s going well, thank you.”

And then he didn’t add anything, throwing her a look that meant he didn’t want to talk about it. That was not in her plans, however. She was about to push a little bit more when something akin to a small miracle happened : she heard the doorbell and caught sight of a sea of orange hair. She stared agape for a second, before breaking into a large grin. “Hey, Ferdinand!”

Shock struck Hubert’s face. He didn’t dare turn around immediately, wide eyed and frozen in disbelief. It took him a few seconds to understand Edelgard wasn’t playing with him, because he heard the responding voice :

“Oh, Edelgard!” Ferdinand took a few steps in their direction and stopped right next to Hubert, immediately turning in his direction and giving him a large sunny smile of his own. “And Hubert, obviously. Hi.”

“Hello,” Hubert muttered, immediately following the salutation by a death glare towards his protegee before coming back to Ferdinand. “You’re here for lunch?”

“I am. We had a meeting not far from here and, well, I really wanted to check out this place, since you had told me about it.”

“Are you staying?” Edelgard asked with a big, overly delighted smile. Ferdinand blushed a little at that and he nervously laughed :

“Well I wasn’t planning to but if I’m not bothering you, I’d love to.”

“I’ll go ask for another chair, you can take mine,” Hubert muttered, quickly standing up and zooming in the direction of the first waiter in sight. Ferdinand watched him with a little frown, but a fond smile. A staff member came back with a chair, a menu, and Hubert who cleared his throat : “We already ordered, but I asked them to bring it all together.”

Edelgard decided it was worth waiting a little bit more. This lunch was turning out to be very interesting anyway. During the twenty seconds Hubert had left the table, he had come back with his hair mussed, as if he had voluntarily made himself look unkept. She knew this habit that he had, of looking at people from under his locks, but she didn’t expect that to also be one of his flirting techniques.

On the other hand, Ferdinand was beaming. He and Edelgard were making small talk while he was looking at the menu, but he kept stealing glances on his right while Hubert kept his head down, decidedly not looking at him by pretending to be checking his phone. Like a moody teenager, she thought, almost giggling at the thought. 

“So you actually adopted a horse? That’s bold, considering how busy you are.”

“I know,” Ferdinand sighed. “I guess that’s how I’m forcing myself to step down a little and relax on weekends.”

“Well you know you can rely on Byleth if you need help with your classes,” she told him. “You’re a TA after all, you’re allowed to ask for her support.”

“Hm, you might be right on that.” He started to grin. “I’m just like Hubert, I still have to learn to delegate.” The lawyer huffed a little laugh, slowly shaking his head, but not saying anything. “How is it going, by the way?”

“It’s going fine, thank you.”

Hubert really didn’t look like he was in any mood to speak right now, so Edelgard just went back to a previous topic. “I’ve only rode a horse once, but it was a disaster. I guess I’m just not good with animals.”

“Oh, I’m sure that’s not the case,” Ferdinand immediately answered. “Animals are far more intelligent than we think. They can smell and feel fear or unease, and will automatically balk like it’s a potential threat. But on the other hand, if you show them you’re not going to harm them and you only have good intentions, they can get used to you pretty quickly.”

“You’re talking about domesticated animals, though.”

“No, it’s the same with wild animals! Of course, when I say “quickly”, it’s not mere minutes. Patience is everything, no matter which species you’re dealing with.”

“Patience huh…” She glanced at her older friend, barely hiding her smile behind her hand. “I think I see what you mean, you did tame quite the leery beast.” Hubert gave her a stink eye, and he got saved by their meal finally being brought to their table.

They went to dig in and Ferdinand let the topic die for now, even if he did understand such an obvious double entendre. They went back to simpler discussions and if Hubert barely said a word or two he still looked like he was starting to relax. At least he wasn’t evading Ferdinand’s stare anymore, though Edelgard was sure he was boiling inside.

“Would you be interested in trying to ride again, though?” Ferdinand asked Edelgard. “You just said you were young the first time, and maybe you’ll feel more comfortable if you’re with friends.”

“Sure, it looks fun. Maybe not right now, but during Easter vacations it might be nice? What do you think, Hubert?”

He just shrugged. “If we have that kind of time, I don’t see why not.”

“I’d love to show you around the area!” Ferdinand exclaimed, already pink in the cheeks in excitement, like a kid. “I’ve been getting a feel of the place, and there’s a really nice walk along the river a kilometer or so away from the facility. I’d love to bring you guys there.”

“Slow down now, remember that neither me nor Edelgard know how to ride,” Hubert replied with a small roll of his eyes.

“You really don’t have to do much, and if Edelgard feels that uncomfortable she could still ride with someone else. I guess Byleth would be there too, but even if she wasn’t I wouldn’t mind sharing my saddle.”

Edelgard almost couldn’t believe her ears, as Ferdinand was babbling and getting very excited for something that definitely sounded like a double date. She couldn’t pass on that opportunity, as soon as the thought crossed her mind, she decided to go for it, even if Hubert actually got mad at her for that.

“Thank you, but while I’m not very comfortable with horses, I’m not the one you should be worried about.”

Hubert actually lowered his fork at that, and the glare he sent her this time wasn’t subtle anymore. His eyebrows even curved a little and she could see his face getting darker with embarrassment. It was mean of her, but it was also too tempting. “Don’t you dare,” he muttered.

“What do you mean?” Ferdinand asked, like the true naive child he was. “You’re afraid of horses, Hubert?”

“I am not,” he growled.

“He never liked not having his two feet on the ground,” she explained, not shrinking away from the silent fury in her best friend’s eyes.

“Stop.”

“Oh…” the redhead just said, still blinking a little bit. “Well, sure, but a horse isn’t that tall, you know?”

That was it for Hubert, who huffed, and stepped right into that trap. “It is. I’m not saying I’m afraid of climbing on the back of one, but horses are tall, Ferdinand,” Hubert mumbled, grasping at the last shreds of his pride. “You’ve been riding since you were a child, so you just don’t realize it.”

“But how could you know if you’ve never rode one?”

“I’ve seen horses, that’s good enough.”

“Well then you can ride a pony if you want?”

The look of utter revulsion on Hubert’s face was too much – Edelgard exploded in laughter. Ferdinand started biting on his lip to keep himself from following her. Hubert just turned even redder, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.

Luckily for him, the waiter came and took their plates away, breaking the tension a little bit. Ferdinand was still silently laughing, but he took a breath and patted Hubert’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you, I swear. But you’re funny when you’re embarrassed.”

“Mmh.”

“This is just me throwing in the idea anyway, we’ll see if we actually have the time.” Ferdinand’s eyes suddenly got bigger, and he bit on his tongue for a second before adding : “Talking about plans, I wanted to know if you were free, not this Saturday but the one after.”

That got Hubert to stop sulking. He frowned a little bit, looking confused. “I could be free, sure. Why? Is it about the court case you told me about?”

“Oh no, not at all. It’s just that we talked about going for a drink before, and I already know I’ll be free that night.”

Edelgard was just watching this conversation unfold, and as Hubert was getting his phone out of his pocket to check his schedule, she was stuck with realization. Saturday in two weeks would be the 13th of February. The night before Valentine’s day.

She almost couldn’t believe what she had just heard, but when she saw Hubert stiffen in his seat as he saw the date, she knew she wasn’t wrong. Ferdinand wanted to have a drink with Hubert, in the evening, in the middle of the weekend. Surely those kinds of gatherings didn’t finish at 9PM, but long after midnight.

It was convoluted, it was so silly, to think Ferdinand would go this far, what with his innocent phrasing and all, just to get a date with Hubert on Valentine’s day. And in the middle of lunch with someone else too. She started watching Hubert who still hadn’t said anything, eyes stuck on his phone, and then Ferdinand who was looking way too smug to be innocent.

“I’m free,” Hubert just said.

Their eyes widened at his answer. Ferdinand almost stammered when he asked : “R-Really? That’s great! Awesome! Err…” He scratched his jaw, and just kept on going : “Good! I’ll note it in my calendar too, then. I hope you won’t cancel at the last minute.”

“Of course not. It’s a date.”

Hubert raised his hand to catch the attention of their waiter and just gave him his credit card, clearly eager to leave. Ferdinand didn’t even try to pay for his meal, he looked almost shocked his plan had worked. Edelgard watched this unfold, letting her gaze jump between the two men and desperately repressing her need to text Byleth _right_ _now_.

However, she was soon reminded that she also had to talk to Hubert, and she needed to do that quickly. They separated from Ferdinand who had to go back to work, he shook hands with Hubert and waved Edelgard goodbye, but still looked a little dazed from what had just happened. Hubert, however, was just as inexpressive as ever, and while she was glad his annoyance from her sharing his embarrassing little secret was gone, she honestly didn’t know how to deal with this kind of cold silence.

He started driving, and she could feel guilt eating her from the inside. She needed to tell him she wouldn’t be there to annoy him about his date – they had actually used the word, it was what it was – she wouldn’t be there afterwards to ask how it went, and he would also have to deal with his own demons alone that one specific weekend.

She had no idea how it could turn out. It could turn out to be a very good thing for Hubert. He could spend the entire weekend with Ferdinand, not thinking about old scars and toxic thoughts. It could also go terribly wrong and end up with him extremely alone, sad, and anxious with no one able to reach him. If he knew, Ferdinand would never leave him be, but he had no idea how deep their shared trauma lied and it wouldn’t be right to make him bear that burden.

Hell with that, she couldn’t stall anymore, she had to tell him now. She decided to just start talking, and she would find a way to get to her point : “So are we talking about you and Ferdinand going on a date for Valentine’s day?”

A deep sigh answered to her. “No we’re not,” he just muttered.

Well, that wasn’t the best way to start this conversation. Luckily for her, she knew him enough to know he wasn’t actually shutting her off. Otherwise he would’ve probably just not answered. Also, she actually had something to say about all of this, so he’d have to bear with it. “Alright. For one second, please stop pretending you don’t actually like him and listen to me : if you said yes just to humor him, you better immediately cancel. This isn’t fair to him, this is not a game anymore.”

“It’s on the 13th, not the 14th.”

Her frustration took over her voice. “Really? You’re just denying everything? What are you expecting out of this? If he actually makes a move, are you really just going to laugh at his face? You’re not that cruel, at least I hope so.”

“Nothing is going to happen, that’s all. You’re overreacting.”

Edelgard shook her head. “That’s because _you_ should. Be honest, please. What are you doing?”

“I…” Hubert closed his mouth, almost letting out a frustrated sigh. “I couldn’t refuse, that’s all. I want to see where this is going.”

She stared at his profile for a second, and saw a little bit of shame darkening his features, his eyes still on the road. “For good, or bad reasons?”

“I don’t plan to be mean to him, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“But it is mean to accept when you know he’s hoping for more.”

“And you know all about being mean, don’t you?”

She couldn’t retort anything to that. She winced and nodded. “That was unfair to talk about your acrophobia. I’m sorry.”

“Too late for that.”

“Yes I went overboard. I was a little too happy, I guess, hearing about Ferdinand already planning double dates for all of us.”

He looked appalled at the term, and mumbled : “You’re really laying it on thick today.”

“Ferdinand isn’t even trying to be subtle, that’s all. I was there, I saw him mooning all over you for an hour.”

“Yeah, yeah, right.”

She threw a little side look at him, his eyes were still on the road and his mouth was twisting a little bit in annoyance as very dark clouds seemed to get closer with every passing minute. But she had found her way in and she was now getting into it, no matter how slippery it looked : “I have to say, though, I’m happy to know you’ll be with Ferdinand on that weekend. It’s a relief.”

Hubert quickly glanced at her, looking somewhat intrigued but also a little bit cautious. He stopped at a red light. “Why?”

Edelgard bit her lip, trying to think of the best way to phrase it. She breathed in, clenched her fist, and finally let it out : “Well, you know. Me and Byleth are going on a vacation for Valentine’s day. The whole weekend, actually.”

She dared to throw a look at her friend, trying to find some kind of reaction. He didn’t have one. He kept looking at the road, his hands on the wheel. He didn’t blink for a long time, though. And at one point, she had to cough.

“Hum, Hubert, the light is green–”

“I know.” He finally stepped on the gas and they started moving again. After a pretty long pause, he asked : “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m doing that right now.”

“Don’t.”

“And I did tell you a few months ago.”

“Oh right. When I said this was a very bad idea.”

She sagged back in her seat, burying her face in her hands to muffle a frustrated sigh. As expected. No easy way out in sight. “Ok. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. But I knew you’d be against it and I really want to go on that trip. I need to move on, Hubert, and I can’t do that by cowering in fear for a month, once a year. And you can finally move on too!”

“So that’s what it was,” he replied with a biting tone. “That’s why you are so invested in my relationship with Ferdinand. I can’t believe this…”

Edelgard’s stomach dropped for a second. She didn’t think he had actually found out about her plan, all the lies, he probably only meant earlier that day or those last weeks. But she still froze, and her silence spoke for her. “I… just hate seeing you like this, okay?”

“Like what?” he growled, hands tight around the wheel and jaw set tight, abruptly changing gears and snapping the indicator light.

“Lonely.”

His lips were tight, and he slowly breathed through his nose, eyes jumping around traffic as it was getting denser and snow had just started to fall. “We’re done talking about this.”

“No we’re not, we can’t–”

“We can.”

“Hubert–”

“Stop. I’m already mad, and I’m driving. So just. Stop talking please.”

Edelgard gave up. At least for the rest of the ride. She wasn’t leaving Hubert alone after that, she couldn’t after such a conversation, but they’d do that when he’d be parked. It was probably for the better.

For ten long minutes they said nothing, though she could feel the silent fury emanating from her driver. Finally they arrived near her building and Hubert parked as soon as he could. Usually he’d just quickly stop for a second in front of her door, to say goodbye and then be on his way. But since he had actually turned off the engine, he probably expected her to explain herself.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she softly said again, turning on her seat so she could face him. “I know it’s not fair, you’re just as anxious as I am when February comes. And you’re right, I kind of pushed you in Ferdinand’s direction because I didn’t want you to be alone during that specific weekend.”

It took him a few seconds of forcing his hands to relax, breathe in and out a few times. When he finally answered, his voice was a lot more even than before, though his disappointment was still dripping with every word. “Not the smartest idea you’ve ever had.”

“I didn’t want to keep that from you. But I knew you were against it so I got scared. I just really need that trip you know?”

“You’re talking as if I actually had any word to say about it. As if I was going to keep you from going or threaten you.”

“... Not me, but Byleth definitely.”

That made him pause. Then sigh, dropping his forehead on his hand. “Yes, definitely.”

“You’re still right to be mad at me. We’ve been together for so long you and I – it wasn’t right of me to just hide such a thing from you. But then, when I thought about the possibility of you spending the weekend with Ferdinand, well…” That earned her a cold stare. “I’m serious!” she insisted. “I really think you guys are great together. Especially after that lunch, it’s obvious he really likes you, he’s not even hiding it. And you know I’ll always be on your side, but I don’t want you to break his heart either, he doesn’t deserve that.”

“That’s not my intention.”

“Then what is it? I don’t get it,” she said with a shake of the head. “What are you getting out of this?”

He heaved a very heavy sigh, looking to his left, through the window that was slowly getting covered in condensation. He activated the blower with one hand, still resolutely not looking at her. “I... guess I enjoy the way he always catches me off guard. It’s very pleasant, to finally have someone like that in my life.”

She couldn’t help but be a little incredulous, “Does he?”

“Ah, right, I didn’t tell you about that…” he sighed. Edelgard, however, couldn’t get mad at him keeping things from her, she was just happy seeing him relax a little and forget he was supposed to be angry. “It was around the beginning of December. I had been… an ass, I guess,” he muttered. “I wanted to prove you wrong so I started teasing him a little bit – staring at him, being a little too close for comfort, going to his lectures... I wanted him to tell me off, so that I would have the proof you were completely mistaken.”

Hubert sagged in his seat, not resisting the little smile that started to pull at his lips. “And one day during a trial I suddenly found him in the middle of the audience, looking so goddamn _smug_. He really had no reason to be here except shoving in my face that I didn’t have the monopoly of passive-aggressiveness.”

She finally let herself relax too and laughed quietly. “Ferdinand sure is stubborn.”

“You said it yourself, I might just have a soft spot for people who can argue with me.”

“Are you scared of losing that friendship if you guys were to start a relationship?”

“No, not really.”

“So what?”

He simply shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Edelgard didn’t find anything else to say. Clearly, he didn’t know himself. Maybe he was right, it was better to just see where things would naturally go, how their date turned out. Hopefully Ferdinand would finally be upfront with his feelings and that would be enough for Hubert. Only one way to find out.

“Anyway, you can trust Byleth with my well-being, you know that. I really hate the idea of leaving you to deal with everything alone but I need to try this. I cannot cower in fear for a month once a year like that anymore.”

“You should’ve told me earlier.”

“Yes. Yes I should’ve. I’m sorry.”

Finally, Hubert turned in her direction. She could see a lot of conflicted emotions in his eyes, he was still upset but he’d also clearly forgiven her already. Slowly, he raised his hand and just placed it on the top of her head, his thumb slowly brushing her bangs. He pushed her head a little so she lowered it, and he pecked her forehead before going back to his seat and turning the engine on again.

“I have to get back to work, Ashe is waiting for me.”

She smiled softly, “Alright. I’ll see you soon, take care.”

And then she opened the door and waved at him while he unparked and disappeared around a corner. She let out a heavy sigh, looking at the grey sky and wincing when a drop of melted snow fell on her cheek. She turned on her heels and finally walked in the direction of her warm apartment and the even warmer arms of her girlfriend.

* * *

Things would not end well.

Hubert knew it already. He just knew it. February had now started and every day was like an excruciating step on thin ice. He had to get to the other side. If he stopped, he would stay in the cold forever. If he went too fast, it would crack down under his feet. He had nothing to rely upon but his own nerves and lady luck, at this point.

And it would break. It always broke at some point. He just didn’t know when yet.

This was so pathetic. How could he get so overwhelmed by something so insignificant as a month, a number in a calendar? Why did his body decide all of his stress, all the things he ever did wrong, all the things he could do wrong, would get to his head at this specific time? Surely there had to be some kind of explanation, a curse inflicted to him when he was too young to understand it, or maybe a glitch in the system, something wrong with the matrix.

Who knows why it had to happen, it _was_ happening anyway. He could feel the tension rising. Slowly, mornings turned bleaker. Driving to work became more stressful. His students started being annoying. Coffee tasted like shit. Prosecutors were assholes. Ashe…

Well, he couldn’t, even in his worst days, actually say anything remotely bad about Ashe. He was a nice touch of light even in his worst days with his soft voice but strong demeanor, always pleasant and never cocky, always listening but never complaining. However, they only saw each other three times a week and now that Hubert’s dark circles were out of control he couldn’t hide his distress anymore. And Ashe was way too perceptive for his sake.

Hubert tried to bury that under a lot of work, like he did every year. He took a lot of new cases, boring incidents that would be solved with one afternoon spent in the judge’s office. That was actually the best solution he’d found after all those years : spending time in the courthouse, the place where he could just be someone else, someone strong who didn’t know anxiety and helped lost souls for a bit. At least until he was home or once again full of free time.

At least he wasn’t as dependent on Edelgard as before. For a few years when they were teens, they’d just be joined at the hip every time one of them felt like the ice was finally breaking under his weight and the cold water rushing into his mouth, down their throat, trachea, lungs. They wouldn’t really talk about it, the most important thing was just to have someone by their side, someone who would be able to help when things would inevitably go haywire. Every year, every February, Hubert and Edelgard suffered from panic attacks. Sometimes only one, sometimes more. It always happened. Even when everything was all right in their life, even when they had nothing to worry about, it was always bound to change, just to create this little crack and make them drown one more time.

Needless to say this year was not even one of the good ones for Hubert. Sure, it wasn’t the worst but it was full of uncertainties, which Hubert didn’t enjoy. He even knew when it would happen this time. He had a _date_. With Ferdinand. On the weekend of Valentine’s day. When Edelgard would be away.

It wasn’t going to end well, he just repeated that in his head in every little moment of peace he got between the three cases he was working on that week. It wasn’t Ferdinand’s fault, it was entirely his. He should’ve known it was a bad idea. He should’ve said no. He should’ve guessed Edelgard wouldn’t listen to him and would go on her trip with Byleth.

He wasn’t going to cancel, he didn’t _want_ to cancel. But as the date got closer and closer, the idea just kept popping inside his head and it was hard to make it disappear. It wasn’t right, after all. Ferdinand didn’t deserve that. Surely this date was some kind of joke or at least revenge, but he still deserved to have a nice Valentine’s day. Or at least a nice weekend.

On Monday evening the week leading to this cursed Saturday, Hubert received a text message from Ferdinand. It was nothing fancy, just the address of a bar he liked for their incoming night out. It still made Hubert completely freeze on the spot, right in the middle of his office’ threshold. It was now or never, he thought. If he wanted to cancel, he had to do it right now. However, his thumb just remained stuck over the screen, his legs didn’t move either, and Ashe finally said something.

“Hum, are you okay, sir?”

Hubert almost jumped, blinking and clenching his teeth when he saw how concerned Ashe looked. And it was probably the exhaustion already getting to him, because Hubert sighed, lowered his phone and answered : “Not really.”

He added nothing, walking to his desk, glowering at the pile of files just waiting for him. Once again, he stopped in his tracks and this time he closed his eyes. It was 7 at night already. It was dark outside. And he really didn’t have the strength to deal with all of this, not after finally allowing himself this tiny moment of weakness. He honestly just wanted to sleep, relax, stop thinking. Ashe seemed to read his mind : “I’m sure we’ll be fine if we stop for today. I can bring one or two files home too.”

Hubert shook his head with a chuckle, rubbing at his eyelids until he could see little dots of color. “Don’t. You said it, we’re fine. And you’re right, it’s time to go home. I’ll call a taxi for you.”

“Oh, you really don’t have to–”

“Just let me do that for you, Ashe. It’s very cold outside today and I’ll sleep better knowing you went home in a warm car.”

He didn’t wait for another protestation, he just opened his app and requested a ride, all charges on his side. They had about ten minutes to spare before the car arrived so Hubert went to make himself some coffee. He asked Ashe if he wanted some, to which the student looked at him with wide eyes and slowly said he actually liked sleeping at night thank you very much. That made him snicker. He could imagine Ferdinand saying the exact same words, not even hiding his exasperation.

Ashe was gathering all of his stuff while Hubert was just watching him from his desk, slowly drinking. He didn’t know how to act with Ashe most of the time, to be completely honest. As a subordinate, he was everything he needed and more, efficient and always picky, never leaving any stones unturned. However, as soon as they were on break, Hubert couldn’t help but wonder if he was supposed to try to know him. He wouldn’t be against it, but surely Ashe wouldn’t ask anything as long as Hubert didn’t make that first step. He was his boss after all. A boss with the reputation of being a gigantic asshole.

He was too tired to care that evening though. He just asked : “Why law?”

That seemed to take his intern by surprise. Ashe blinked, pausing as he was about to zip his backpack. “Why did I start studying law, you mean?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t that…?” He quickly shook his head and smiled at Hubert, who quickly guessed it was probably written in his application letter, which he had barely read. “It’s very cheesy, but I really just want to help people. Someone close to me has been the victim of a mistrial when I was younger, so...”

Hubert nodded, “It’s not cheesy. The legal system needs people like that, people with fair ambitions. However I can’t tell you it’s going to be easy staying this candid.”

“I know. I’m well aware.” Hubert gulped down a good quarter of his coffee cup. “What about you?”

That made him stop drinking, raising his eyes to Ashe’s frank expression. “You don’t know?”

“Well I know the rumors from university…”

“Humor me, share them with me.” He smiled a little. “I’m curious, that’s all, I won’t get mad.”

“Most people think you suffered a mistrial yourself.” That made him snicker, rolling his eyes a little. Ashe smiled too. “I think some people say you were just following your father's footsteps.”

“Really now…” Hubert sighed while shaking his head, finishing his cup and walking to the kitchen to leave it in the sink. When he came back, he went straight to his briefcase to check if he hadn’t forgotten anything. “This is interesting. I actually became a lawyer because I wanted to annoy my dad.”

“What? How?”

“Well you probably know that by now, but he wasn’t exactly the most decent man in the legal system. He never shied away from all the corruption he accepted during his prosecution days. And my grandfather was the same, even if he actually managed to get away with it. He was probably expecting me to stay low, to bring back some kind of reputation to our family and one day he’d come out of jail with a cleared name and a son with a respectable job, able to support his lifestyle during his twilight years.”

Ashe was listening carefully, clearly entranced with this little tale. Hubert decided to humor him and kept going.

“I wish I could’ve seen the look on his face when I started going against some of his old business partners, putting names and faces on childhood memories and happily building cases against them. I think that even got some of his friends in trouble, because they thought they’d be fine going against me, that I’d never betray my father like that. That’s probably what got him killed in prison too. I’ll never know.”

“Were you threatened as well? Is that what happened earlier, are you in danger?”

Hubert got a little taken aback by this deduction. He just kept on buttoning up his coat.

“Of course not. I’m not an idiot, why do you think I have the reputation of just defending the highest bidder? The more people think I’m only in for the money, the better. Sure, there was some intimidation but I can be intimidating too. These guys are rich punks, they’re all bark but no bite. And now most of them are either in the house of the rising sun or six feet under.” A beep from his phone cut him, and they both left the office, turning off the lights and locking up. “What happened earlier was extremely insignificant. Nothing to worry about. Just a stupid decision coming back to bite my ass.”

“It didn’t seem that insignificant judging from your reaction.”

Hubert closed his eyes for a second and sighed internally, already regretting saying that. He knew Ashe wouldn’t just let it pass. Of course he’d be honest about it and make sure everything was alright. That was part of why he was such a delight to work with, and such a promising lawyer.

“I think that’s enough personal stories for today,” he slowly said, and then he walked straight to the stairs. Ashe quickly went after him. 

“Ah… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep–”

“You didn’t. It’s just something I should deal with on my own.”

He knew it wasn’t true. He didn’t have to keep everything to himself. He could call Edelgard, he could try sharing this with Ashe, he could just call Ferdinand and be honest with him.

But the ice was too thin. It was so close to breaking. And he really didn’t want anyone to witness it right now. Edelgard was leaving so soon, she would be so anxious if he were to break down right before her trip. Ashe would trip over his feet to try and make him feel better, but he couldn’t, they didn’t know each other that much and he was still very much his boss.

All that left was Ferdinand. The main reason behind his current anxiety.

Hubert said goodbye to Ashe, watching the taxi drive off into the distance. Then he plunged his hands in his pockets to look for his gloves. He found his phone instead, still open on Ferdinand’s text. He didn’t move for a while, still considering, writing then deleting answers.

He just sent “Ok, see you” and made a beeline for his car.

* * *

Hubert couldn’t help but check his phone every two minutes.

He was ridiculous. It was 7PM, he’d been there for half an hour, even though he was supposed to meet Ferdinand at 8. He’d thought going in early would shake off his nerves. He’d drink a little, read a book, listen to some nice music, _relax_. But he just kept going back to his phone, looking at the little picture Edelgard had sent him around 10AM, a nice view of the sea from a balcony, telling him they were safe at their hotel. And nothing since.

Hubert wanted to text her, desperately. He wanted updates, he wanted to know if everything was going ok. And he also wanted to unwind, come undone and tell her how nervous he was, how scared he felt by seeing minutes go by, how unprepared he truly was.

It was really bad, he knew that. He was a bundle of nerves, jittery, his face even paler than usual and the circles under his eyes making him look as sick as he’d been during midterms. He _felt_ sick. An absolute mess, about to ruin the evening of a really kind man who truly deserved a better date. He actually started looking around in the bar, trying to find someone who’d be a decent replacement as a date for Ferdinand. At this point, _anyone_ would’ve been better than Hubert, but Ferdinand deserved a good time, with someone who wasn’t an asshole, who would be respectful, have a sense of boundaries–

He sighed in his hand and unlocked his phone one more time. Still nothing. He went to grab his glass of water, only to find it empty. He sighed again and called the passing waitress, asking for a bottle of white pinot. He’d thought it would be best not to drink a lot before Ferdinand arrived, because it was the polite thing to do and because his alcohol tolerance was not that great, but it might help him relax a little bit. And sure, they’d promised they would share stories over tequila or some kind of heavy beverages, but the idea of Ferdinand finding him drunk over those kinds of bottles made him shiver. It would look so bad.

Of course, one glass turned into two. He could feel his shoulders start to loosen, and he stopped checking his phone for more than ten minutes. For one second, he thought it would not be so horrible after all. Who knows, it might help him hold an actual conversation. He poured himself a third glass.

The bottle was halfway done when Ferdinand arrived, cheeks all red from the cold and little flecks of white on his shoulders and hair. He looked surprised to see Hubert already in the booth he had booked for them, but he sent him a large smile as soon as their eyes crossed.

“Oh, Hubert! Hi, I hope I’m not late…”

That’s when the lawyer realized how fucked he was. Ferdinand was beaming, so happy to see that he didn’t run away, that he was waiting for him. He looked so handsome, he’d clearly gotten a shower after spending the afternoon at the equestrian facility, but he was dressed nicely, showing how much he cared about this night.

And Hubert couldn’t get up.

He really couldn’t. Simply turning in Ferdinand’s direction made him realize how heavy his head already was. His feet seemed stuck to the ground, his legs tingly and his mouth unresponsive. It was 8PM and Hubert was drunk. This was a _disaster_.

However, he was finally in a good enough mood to not get depressed over that fact. Sure, Ferdinand would probably notice something was off, as soon as he saw the state of his bottle actually. But he could act like everything was alright for a little while, wait until Ferdinand had also ordered something to drink. He could do it. It would be fine.

Hubert just turned on his seat, didn’t even try to get up – he let his jaw rest on two fingers while looking at his friend from under his bangs and slowly said :

“Hello there.”

His speech was fine, the words weren’t slurred or anything. That usually was the case when he got drunk, it tended to show through his body more so than his words. Ferdinand looked at him with wide eyes, he probably wasn’t expecting this kind of slow, almost husky answer. He went to sit in front of Hubert, removing his coat and pushing a hand through his hair to get rid of the snow.

“I see you started without me. No tequila?”

“That’s for later.”

“Hmm, wine and tequila? A bold choice.”

“Well I’m planning to order something to eat very soon. And from what I understand, this is the kind of night that’s supposed to last until the early hours of morning. Surely tequila will be fine by then.”

Ferdinand raised an eyebrow at him, taking his menu in one hand, but offering him a sardonic smile nonetheless. Hubert raised his glass to his lips once again. “I have to say it’s been a while since I had time for a drink with a friend. Not since the New Year party actually.”

“Oh, a very memorable night.”

“Really? You looked so bored, though.”

“I was very entertained by someone’s drunken antics.”

Ferdinand rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t that drunk, just a little over tipsy.”

“That’s what we usually call drunk.”

“You, however, were very sober. You were the designated driver?”

“I just don’t really do well with crowds, I’d rather don’t mix alcohol in the lot.”

A waiter arrived and Ferdinand ordered something to drink. Hubert almost clicked his tongue when he saw it was some kind of cocktail, with more sugar and juice than alcohol. He hid his annoyance by ordering some food for the two of them, some kind of charcuterie platter, when suddenly he was struck by a sudden fear. “You’re not vegan, right?”

Ferdinand blinked, and seemed a little embarrassed as he laughed. “Considering my job, I don’t really eat meat anymore, yeah. But I know this place, it’s all good.”

“Really?”

“I still eat meat from time to time as long as I know where it’s from. It’s fine.”

“I’m sorry,” he still said. “I should’ve asked first.”

Ferdinand probably was about to shake his head and tell him once again it was nothing to worry about when he stopped himself and looked at him incredulously : “I… think that’s the first time I hear you apologize and mean it. Also – I thought you were jewish?”

“Huh? Ah. Ethnically speaking sure, but religion’s not my style.”

“Okay…” Now he was starting to frown, and Hubert couldn’t help it, he raised an eyebrow, silently asking him what the problem was. “So you’ve been here for a while, it seems.”

“I kept my day open, like I promised. But you were busy today, right?”

He managed to lead Ferdinand away from the sensitive subject of his own afternoon, though he could feel he was starting to be suspicious of something. But as soon as he started talking about his mare, he just got lost in his own story, clearly enamored with her. Hubert didn’t say much for a while, sipping on his wine and watching the other man talk. Looking at his lips a lot, actually. He liked the shape they made when they pronounced his name. And then he realized Ferdinand was actually trying to get his attention.

He blinked and straightened up. “Hm?”

“You look very out of it, are you ok? I barely saw you this week, I hope everything’s alright.”

Hubert just let out a little chuckle. Here he thought Ferdinand was actually observant. He didn’t even notice Hubert had spent the entire week running away from him. A sigh escaped him and he let his head fall on his hand, openly gazing at the man in front of him. He looked really good. He was fitting right into the atmosphere of the bar, classy but modern, all the decoration in darker tones while low lights shone a warm yellow over the tables. He could hear the sounds of a pool game but it was pretty calm, it clearly wasn’t the kind of place where the TV would show sports like soccer or the likes.

Once again he found his attention slipping away and he discreetly straightened up once more. His hand found his wine glass and luckily for him it wasn’t empty. “I had a long week, yeah.”

“Lots of work?”

“And lots of thoughts to be had.”

Ferdinand smiled at their waiter when he brought them their orders, then he immediately took a sip of his sugary monstrosity. Hubert barely repressed a face of disgust, just shoving his hand in the bread basket to start munching on a piece. He wasn’t expecting any of this to help him sober up, but he had nothing to lose.

Once again, Ferdinand just started talking about god knows what, something about his coworkers. His voice was strong and he found himself lulled by it. It was so much better to leave Ferdinand do all the talking, while Hubert could just watch him, the way his bangs curled at the tips, the light duvet of hair covering his forearms, the stretch of his shirt around his chest even though the first two buttons were undone. It really was shitty of him to not even participate in the conversation but the wine was really getting to his head and he couldn’t really trust his mouth anymore.

Too bad he forgot he should first worry about the rest of his body, because when he tried to lay his elbow on the table to straighten up once again, he missed. A loud ‘thump’ echoed between them, probably not loud enough to get anyone’s attention but clearly enough to make Ferdinand stop in the middle of his sentence with a bewildered look. He blinked a few times, frowned a little bit, and Hubert knew it was over for him when he saw a dimple in the corner of his friend’s mouth and it wasn’t a happy one. “Oh my god, are you kidding me. Hubert, are you drunk?”

“No.”

“Wh– Yes you are!” he sputtered, looking more and more annoyed by the minute. “What the hell, it’s not even 9 yet!”

Hubert couldn’t help it, he immediately closed himself off and shrugged, giving Ferdinand a frown of his own. “I thought that was the point of us meeting tonight? To get drunk?”

“Yes, get drunk _together_! And possibly last until after midnight!”

“Oh so you admit it. This is about Valentine’s day. That’s why you’re upset.”

A blush bloomed on Ferdinand’s face and he couldn’t really tell if it was from embarrassment or ire. He let his hand smack the table between the two of them, furiously glaring at his coworker. “Don’t you dare make this about me! You’re the one who needs to explain yourself.”

“I don’t understand why you’re so mad, that’s all. I’m not pissed out of my skull, everything was fine up until now. You looked very happy making conversation by yourself.”

Ouch. He was starting to be really mean, he knew it, but he couldn’t help himself, he was also getting angry. That clearly didn’t work the way he wanted though, because Ferdinand crossed his arms and barked a laugh. “Oh yeah sure, wanna check that indent your chin made on the table?”

He opened his mouth and nothing came out. On a normal day he would’ve had no problem finding a comeback, but the only defense he could think of was ‘your chest is distracting’, which probably wouldn’t help his case. He also crossed his arms and after a second to think, uncrossed them to take his glass of wine to nurse it a little bit more.

This moment of silence stretched for almost a whole minute, and while Ferdinand didn’t look less upset, disappointment was starting to take over. “I really can’t believe it. I can’t believe you’re this kind of guy.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he grumbled.

“That means I thought you were classier than that!”

“Hah!” he actually laughed. “Good one.”

“So you really don’t care? Is this some kind of joke to you?”

The look of utter betrayal actually forced him to shut up. He knew he was going too far and that he was the one in the wrong, but alcohol made him even more stubborn than he usually was. If he didn’t want to dig any more of his own grave, he’d better just shut up.

Ferdinand was still looking at him, though. And now pity had joined the party. Like a goddamn puppy, like he couldn’t actually be mad at him for more than a few seconds, he lowered his voice to ask tentatively : “Hubert, I feel like I’m missing out on something. Are you alright, did something happen? I can’t imagine this being an accident. And I can’t believe you just don’t care either.”

Hubert felt something cold go through him and clash with his silently burning fury. He didn’t want to talk about any of this, not now that he finally managed to forget about his phone, and how far away Edelgard was and how close the ice was to break. But he also wanted to just let it go, just throw it all at Ferdinand’s face like he was his goddamn psychiatrist.

He took a swing of alcohol. And the burn won over the ice. “It doesn’t concern you.”

That actually earned him a wry laugh. “Yes, I know, I never did anything that would deserve this kind of treatment from you. Still, I thought you were actually better than that, trying to turn it all against me, as if I’m the one in the wrong here.”

“How naive.”

“Maybe.”

They stared at each other for a while, none of them wished to step down and be the better man by either letting go or leaving the bar. Not that Hubert could actually do the latter, but still. Ferdinand ended up shaking his head with a sigh, like he’d already forgotten about his anger. “You know, I didn’t think you’d accept meeting with me tonight. And when you did, I was sincerely happy. Sure, I mostly wanted to get back at you and your incessant teasing, but I do want to know you better. You can’t blame me for feeling let down right now.”

Hubert didn’t say anything, because he didn’t feel the same. This date had done nothing but haunt him for two weeks and now it was going way worse than he could’ve imagined. Still, Ferdinand’s pity and disappointment made him look away in shame, his thumb stroking his glass as he tried to find something to answer. “I know all that.”

“We barely know each other and I’ll never be Edelgard but I really want to be someone you can trust. If you want to complain after a rough week, or if you have a terrible cold, an annoying trial going on… I don’t mind just being there to listen, you know? I mean, at least if you want me to and if I can do it in return.” He started biting his lip, his eyes looking at the platter between them which they had barely touched. “But I don’t want this. It’s fine if you’re upset with something, but I refuse to just be your outlet and be left in the dark. It’s not fair, Hubert. You getting drunk and dropping the responsibility on me is _not fair_.”

“Th-That’s not true, I don’t think you’re an outlet at all.”

“What is this then? Why did you say yes?”

Hubert kept stumbling on his words, as the world around him started to falter. He felt his blood pulse in his head, his head getting heavier and heavier, as he mumbled :

“I… I just want…” And then a pained sigh escaped him. His head fell in his hand. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

He didn’t even look at Ferdinand as he tried to find his balance and stumbled on his way there. His friend didn’t try to help him either, he just stared at him with his arms crossed, silently judging him. As soon as he found his way inside the bathroom, Hubert collapsed on the seat of the toilets, heavily breathing. He really didn’t want to have a panic attack right now, in a bar’s bathroom, far away from home. Instinctively, he went to reach for his phone but then realized he had left it at the table. A broken sob escaped him as he could feel the walls getting closer, and his breathing getting more and more shallow.

He refused, though. He forced himself to take a deep breath even if it got stuck in his chest, got back up and turned on the water so he could splash his face. It was freezing cold and he let out a yelp of shock, but when he opened his eyes, his vision felt more clear. Sure, he really was starting to be sick, and he could barely keep his balance even with his two hands gripping the sink, but he slowly emptied his lungs and breathed deeply, more easily this time. He did it again, watching his pitiful reflection in the mirror, internally throwing thousands of insults at himself, for being so weak, and ridiculous, and an asshole.

He was probably in there for more than ten minutes, but when he got out he felt a little bit better. He really didn’t want to face Ferdinand once again, actually he only wanted to go home and vegetate on his couch while eating garbage food and drinking too much coffee. But he still had to get his phone to call a taxi.

He unlocked the door and froze in place when he found that Ferdinand was right there, shoulder against the wall and clearly waiting for him. He already had put his coat back on, and he held Hubert’s in his arm. He also looked very annoyed, but that wasn’t surprising. He gave him his belongings and announced : “We’re leaving. I’m dropping you home.”

“Huh?” he answered eloquently, confused with how things were going. Why the hell would he do that, Hubert would be fine calling a taxi on his own. Ferdinand heaved a huge sigh at his puzzled expression.

“You’re not leaving my sight tonight. I don’t know what’s going on and if you don’t want to talk about it that’s fine, but I still want to get drunk tonight. I’ve been waiting for this all week, and you better believe I’m not letting you off the hook. So we’ll just do that at your house instead. You have alcohol, right?”

“I… don’t want to drink anymore.”

“I don’t care, it’s for me, not you.”

Hubert blinked once, twice. “I have a bottle of rum.”

“Awesome. Let’s go, now.”

They left the bar with Hubert still stumbling on his feet, but with Ferdinand’s hand hovering behind his shoulders, ready to catch him if he fell.

**To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry, there won’t be any fast forward, next chapter is going to be all about that “after-party” at Hubert’s house :P
> 
> Sooooo, very sorry about the veeery long break (damn almost four months I'm so sorry) I just didn't really have the time or motivation. Because now that my work forces me to actually sit in front of my computer on google doc for sometimes 4 hours straight, I just often don't feel like opening it again. That sucks, I know, but still, be assured : I love this fic and I am not planning to drop it at all. We're like... Not even halfway through all I've planned, so it will take a while, but I am still working on it, don't worry.
> 
> Also the reason why it's so late even though I finished writing it in 2020 is because my beta actually finished her job but I just didn't fucking notice. Hahahaaaa sorry about that......
> 
> Chapter 7 is on its way and will be out pretty soon too (especially since it follows this one, they kinda go together). If you want updates, dont forget you can follow me [@PapyFerdibertie](https://twitter.com/PapyFerdiBertie)


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